IT’S COME TO THIS: “McDonald’s has admitted that its new paper straws, rolled out last year to help ‘protect the environment,’ can’t be recycled — unlike the plastic versions they replaced.”

As Steve warned in April of 2015, “McDonald’s is almost certainly doomed. Or at the very least, [Steve] Easterbrook is the wrong guy to head up the burger chain — any burger chain, for that matter. To understand why I’ve come to this conclusion, read the very next line from the story: Easterbrook plans to unveil his plan for turning McDonald’s into a ‘modern, progressive burger company’ on May 4.”