BECAUSE THEY SUCK: Why the EU is Cracking Down on Speedy Supercars.

A MONTH AGO, as I was checking out of a hotel in Stuttgart bound for Geneva in a hot new Porsche 911, a man approached me in the lobby, like Elijah in “Moby-Dick,” warning me of danger ahead. “Are you driving the red car to Switzerland?” he asked in English. “You know, they just put somebody in jail for four years for speeding.”

How fast was he going? Two-hundred ten, came the answer—not miles, but kilometers per hour. That’s 130 mph. I went weak in the knees as I flashed back on all the times I’ve exceeded 130 mph in Switzerland. Every time, practically. Four years!

I drove to Geneva like I was leading my mother’s funeral, never exceeding 85 mph in a car with a top speed 100 mph faster, constantly surveilled by Switzerland’s robust speed camera network. Hey Nonny Nonny. This sucks.

It’s over. The era of European grand touring—the pursuit and enjoyment of elite speed across the face of the continent in powerful cars, the classic driving vacation — is finito.

Plus: “Not to be elitist: A Ford Fiesta you rent at Aéroport Charles de Gaulle outside Paris is fast enough to ruin the family vacation. France recently lowered the national speed limit on rural roads without a divider from 90 to 80 kph. That’s about 50 mph. It’s a slumber party.”

Statists ruin everything.