SONNY BUNCH: Lord, grant me the confidence of a mediocre movie about a cosmically powered white woman. “Captain Marvel is a big bowl of mediocrity, a soup comprised of an underwhelming, lightweight lead saddled with poorly edited action scenes that’s set to a disastrously-on-the-nose soundtrack in service of a script that offers little in the way of deviation from the comic book movie mold, with a few winning bit performances that keep the thing from being a total waste of your time.”

Even my young, Marvel-loving sons are pre-soured on this one.