NOT THE ONION: Pennsylvania School District Arms Its Teachers — With 16-Inch Baseball Bats.

As the Erie Times-News reports, roughly 500 teachers in Millcreek will be armed with the bats. Schools Superintendent William Hall admitted,“The bats are more symbolic than anything. However, we do want to have one consistent tool to have at somebody’s disposal in a classroom in the event they have to fight.” Referring to a 2008 Department of Homeland Security report that recommended first running away, or, if possible hiding, or as a last resort fighting if a school attacker showed up, he added, “It’s not about just hiding and waiting. There are options, and one of those is to fight.”

Jon Cacchione, president of the Millcreek Education Association, the union representing district teachers, said, “It’s to make people comfortable with the idea that they can attack and not simply go into hard lockdown and just hide, as we’d been told in our training up to this point.”

Hall said the district ordered 600 baseball bats that cost roughly $1,800 for a training session that was held.

Instapundit has obtained an exclusive video of how the dimensions of the bat were determined (language warning):