ADVANTAGE: VODKAPUNDIT.

● Shot:

McDonald’s is almost certainly doomed. Or at the very least, [Steve] Easterbrook is the wrong guy to head up the burger chain — any burger chain, for that matter.

To understand why I’ve come to this conclusion, read the very next line from the story:

Easterbrook plans to unveil his plan for turning McDonald’s into a “modern, progressive burger company” on May 4.

Now maybe I should withhold judgement until I see this plan next week. Maybe a bold headline like “McDonald’s Is Doomed” is just the kind of baseless clickbait fear-mongering I try to resist indulging in.

But a progressive burger company? Really?

* * * * * *

This shouldn’t be rocket math. Progressivism has come to mean top-down, pre-engineered, overpriced, “we know what’s best for you,” nannystatism — which is not what I consider to be a fun meal with the kids.

A fun meal with the kids is decent, fast, inexpensive dining on American food. There’s nothing “progressive” about it. And any attempt to force that square peg into the round hole of our hungry mouths is doomed to failure.

—Steve Green, “McDonald’s Is Doomed,” PJ Media, April 23, 2015.

● Chaser: McDonald’s slims down Happy Meal by banishing cheeseburgers.

—Headline, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, today.