BLESS THEIR HEARTS: CNN Labels ‘Thomas the Tank Engine,’ ‘Paw Patrol’ as ‘Fascist’ Cartoons.

“Why kids love ‘fascist’ cartoons like ‘Paw Patrol’ and ‘Thomas,'” wrote parenting writer Elissa Strauss, a regular contributor to CNN.

Strauss noted that “Thomas the Tank Engine” has been labeled “a ‘premodern corporate-totalitarian dystopia‘ in the New Yorker, imperialist and sinister in Slate, and classist, sexist, and anti-environmentalist in the Guardian.”

“And yet people—presumably parents—spend $1 billion on ‘Thomas’ merchandise every year,” she marveled.

“Paw Patrol,” Strauss wrote, is “equally polarizing,” with outlets like BuzzFeed complaining about “instances of gender and social inequality that go unchecked on the show.”

“Nevertheless, ‘Paw Patrol’ is ubiquitous,” she added. “Branded merchandise featuring Ryder and the gang outsells most other television shows, according to recent data from the Licensing Industry Merchandisers’ Association.”

“It’s tempting as a parent—especially those of us who are aghast at contemporary politics—to be disturbed by the notion of our children tuning in for a regular dose of primary-colored authoritarianism,” she wrote.

Great – the first time anyone at CNN rails against “primary-colored authoritarianism,” and it’s concerning a show about a toy train.

But hey, let’s assume that CNN actually believes that Strauss’s argument is true. If so, counterculture icons Ringo Starr, Peter Fonda, Alec Baldwin and the late George Carlin have a lot to answer for. Will anyone at CNN ask the three surviving celebrity hosts why they were promoting crypto-fascism?