JOHN WATERS’ CHRISTMAS CURSE: Soften a Conservative Relative By Licking Their Chair.

The [Washington Post] asked if the show is a bit of a “takedown” of Christmas, and Waters replied it’s “not a takedown, but it is self-help for people that hate it.”

The headline in the “Weekend Pass” section of the Express was “Did this man just lick your chair?” That’s because Waters joked that he believes in a “Christmas curse” on the conservative relatives. When they leave the room, you lick their chair:

POST: What advice do you have for people who are visiting conservative relatives for Christmas?

JOHN WATERS: If you want to change someone’s politics, there is a Christmas curse I believe in. The way it works is, when a relative leaves the room, you run over and lick their chair. And then when they come in and sit back down, they might soften politically. You just can’t get caught doing it.

What’s with the licking? It sounds a little like gay leftist Dan Savage hating Gary Bauer so much when Bauer ran for president in 1999 that he licked the doorknob to his hotel room when he had a cold, hoping he would infect Bauer.

Related:

And it is here a vitally important lesson all libertarians, republicans, conservatives and other “simply not leftists” need to learn.  For if we don’t realize this very important lesson we will let the leftists we know ruin our lives by forcing us to steep and stew in the erroneous belief that leftists somehow live blissful lives, completely unaffected and unaccountable for their erroneous beliefs and horrible mistakes derived from those beliefs.

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So this Christmas, and for the rest of your life, do not let leftists or the fact they’re “getting free money” or “vote against freedom” or “vote to increase your taxes” lessen your finite time on this planet.  Though they’ll never admit it, they are getting punished ENOUGH.

—“The Left Punishes Itself…Mercilessly and Horribly,” Aaron Clarey, at his Captain Capitalism blog today.

(Via SDA)