A RIVER RUNS TO SUE IT: A Denver lawyer and a deep green enviro group are suing Gov. John Hickenlooper and the state of Colorado on behalf of the Colorado River. They’re asking the court to hold them liable for abuses of the river’s “right to exist, flourish, regenerate, be restored, and naturally evolve.”

In strict legal terminology, this is nuts. As Fred Smith said about a similar move for trees back in 1995, “It’s time to stop being silly and start thinking seriously about what we might do to improve the planet on which we live.”