WHY ARE DEMOCRAT-MONOPOLY INSTITUTIONS SUCH CESSPITS OF PURITANICAL COMSTOCKERY? Cosmopolitan on “16 Nonsexual Things That Are 100 Times Hotter Than Sex:”
When it comes to sex, the internet has pretty much all the porn any woman could ever ask for. But if you’re like me, you may be looking for something to get your rocks off in a totally nonsexual way. Thus, I have created a comprehensive list of things that are probably way likelier to give you an orgasm than sex.
- Rachel Maddow telling me everything is going to be OK. I need a Rhodes scholar in a blazer to calm me down from the world’s insanity, and Rachel’s just the intersectional feminist to fit the bill.
I’m so old, I can remember when Cosmo was still actually pro-sex.
Found via Alex Griswold of the Washington Free Beacon, who tweets, “My favorite song from Sweeney Todd is the one where he realizes we all deserve a violent death.”
Earlier: Cosmo on “Why Guys Get Turned on When You Orgasm — and Why That’s a Bad Thing.” As Steve noted in March, “It’s official now — there’s nothing that a determined Third Wave feminist can’t ruin.”