SAD PUPPIES? That pricey dog food won’t extend Fido’s life.

Americans are crazy about their pets, so it’s natural we want to keep them alive as long as possible. That seems to be what Mars PetCare U.S. was depending on in marketing its pricey Eukanuba brand of dog food, which the company said could extend a canine’s life by several years.

But that claim is false, the Federal Trade Commission said Thursday in announcing that Mars Petcare had settled charges of false advertising related to Eukanuba, which ranges in price from $13.99 to $57.99.

Our dogs are on prescription food for health and weight control, and as long as they’re healthy and happy we’re going to keep them on it.