JONAH GOLDBERG ON THE ADVENTURES OF SUPER HILLARY!

“There has never been any man or woman more qualified for this office than Hillary Clinton,” President Obama declared this week. Take that Jefferson! Sit your mansplaining ass down, Ike! Hillary’s here.

There’s a reason she wears those smocks that make her look like the United Federation of Planets’ ambassador to Rigel 7: She’s just light years ahead of the rest of us.

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Again, she can do it all . . . except for one thing. She can’t handle the Internet. It’s her kryptonite. She’s helpless against its foreign ways.

All you have to do is say “e-mail” and she sheds IQ points faster than a Mr. Potato Head loses his facial features when thrown into an industrial blender. Giving her a computer is as pointless as giving an abacus to a basset hound. When asked if she wiped her server, she responded, “You mean like with a cloth?” In her initial statement about her server set up, she reassured the American people that the server was secure because “it was on property guarded by the Secret Service and there were no security breaches.”

If your knowledge of how this new-fangled Internet contraption device works is more sophisticated than Hillary’s, click the above hyperlink to be transported — as if by some alien form of magick — to another Website that allows you to read the entirety of the virtual page on the World Wide Web.

(Between Hillary and Al “I took the initiative in creating the Internet” Gore, what is it about the Web that drives Bill’s sidekicks so crazy, anyhow?)