KATHY SHAIDLE: You Don’t Have to Be Crazy to Be Scott Adams, But It Helps.

Make sure the Pointy-Haired Boss doesn’t see you reading it in your cubicle.

In other news from the Cartoon Kingdom, “As for the ructions in the Republican Party, Steyn found any story involving secret meetings with Mitt Romney hard to stay awake through. But on balance he decided it was Captain America: Civil War for the Beltway crowd:”

Captain America (Donald Trump) has gone to Avengers Headquarters in Washington for a showdown with Ryan-Man (Paul Ryan) over his plan to make America great again. Meanwhile, Rino-Man (Mitt Romney) and SuperPac-Man (Mike Murphy), who has the amazing superpower of being able to take $100 million and shrink it to a buck seventy-nine – now that their protégé Low-Energy-Man (Jeb Bush) is no more – are urging the Mighty Sasse (Ben Sasse) and the world’s oldest boy-sidekick Buckeye (John Kasich), whose superpowers don’t work beyond the state border, to jump into the fight against Captain America.

Captain America has the support of Newt-Man (Newt Gingrich) and the Incredible Bulk (Chris Christie) and the reformed evildoer Low-Key (Ben Carson), but which way will the Black Widow (Carly Fiorina) – she mates, she kills… which way will the Black Widow jump? Tomorrow night, Captain America has a romantic evening planned with the Scarlet Witch (Megyn Kelly)…

But remember, the man who poses in front of styrofoam comics and books interviews with a woman who bathes in a bathtub full of cereal has sternly warned that the presidency and the race to capture it aren’t reality TV shows.