HOWARD WOLOWITZ, CALL YOUR OFFICE: Willy do it? Man with bionic penis to finally lose his virginity at 43:

Mohammed Abad will pop his cherry in the next few days with sex worker Charlotte Rose after a dinner date.

Mo, who lost his penis when he was six in a car accident, said: “I have waited long enough for this — it’ll be a great start to the new year. My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t wait for it to finally happen.”

Mo first had surgery to fit the eight-inch bionic penis in 2012, but it has only been fully functional for a few months.

It has two tubes running along its length which inflate when he presses a button on his testicle.

Charlotte, 35, will not be charging Mo when they meet up in London.

It’s too bad Bob Guccione isn’t alive to read this story, which reads like the long-awaited convergence of articles from his old publications Penthouse Forum and Omni.