HEY, GUYS, SHARE THIS ON FACEBOOK, THEN SEE HOW MANY OF YOUR LIBERAL FRIENDS BELIEVE IT AND GO INSANE SAYING CORONAVIRUS IS NO BIG DEAL…  Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns.  (Oh, come on. if we can’t have fun with them, what good are they?)

BECAUSE IF SHE LIKES IT IT MUST BE GOOD FOR EVERYONE?  Why this sex therapist says you should be in an open marriage.

ER… WHAT?  ‘Miserable’ man tattoos entire body blue to feel confident.

NOW I DON’T FEEL SO BAD AMERICANS THOUGHT THEY GOT IT THROUGH BEER:  France had to tell citizens that cocaine won’t cure coronavirus.

WELL, THEY COULD, TILL YOU REVEALED THE CODE!  Women in Florida can order ‘owl shot’ to let bartender know they’re in danger.

THEY’LL GIVE US THE EQUALITY OF THE GRAVE:  Key UN body reaffirms 1995 plan to achieve gender equality.

AND I STILL SAY THIS ONE WILL BITE THE DEMS IN THE ASS:  Swine Flu and Me.

WELL, ONE THING TRUMP DOES WELL IS REMOVE MASKS…  Yale Psychiatrist Who Has Repeatedly Called Trump Mentally Unfit Refuses to Diagnose Biden.

WE DON’T PASS OUT CANDY OR CELEBRATE WHEN PEOPLE DIE, BUT IF YOU ARE IN YOUR FIFTIES THIS MIGHT MAKE YOU SMILE:  Iran: Coronavirus Kills Former Interrogator of U.S. Embassy Hostages.

BIRDS OF A FEATHER!  Bernie’s Imam: Israel Runs ISIS And Trump Is The Coronavirus.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT APPALLS ME MORE, THE LACK OF HISTORICAL KNOWLEDGE OR THE ABJECT APOLOGIES:  Warren Staffers Get Very Unwoke Tattoos.

A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE AMERICA AND AMERICANS: “Lee Boyd Malvo, half of a two-man sniper team which terrorized the Washington region and killed 10 people in October 2002, was married in a ceremony at Red Onion State Prison…”

Malvo, who was 17 when he committed the crimes, was arrested with John Allen Muhammad, and ultimately convicted of two murders in Virginia and six murders in Maryland. He was given life sentences without parole in all eight cases. Virginia recently changed its rules to consider parole for juvenile offenders after they have served 20 years, but if Malvo, now 35, were paroled from Virginia, he would then have to begin serving his Maryland sentences. Carmeta Albarus, who helped Malvo’s defense team in 2003 break the psychological grip Muhammad had exerted over the teenager, said Tuesday that she was a witness to the marriage. ‘I was honored to be there,’ Albarus said. ‘It was a beautiful occasion, given the circumstances of where it took place… She’s an absolutely wonderful individual…. I believe the institution was very accommodating’….

Uh huh. No information about the bride, because reasons.

ESTABLISHMENT CANDIDATE JOE BIDEN DELIVERS NEAR-FATAL BLOW TO SANDERS’ SOCIALIST CAMPAIGN.

AT AMAZON, stock up on Pet Food and Supplies.

Plus, deals in Safety and Security.

CORONAVIRUS: Yale is moving classes online and asking students to stay home after Spring Break.

COULDN’T HAPPEN TO A NICER GUY: Report: Hassan Nasrallah Infected with Coronavirus. Sourcing is iffy, but it’s plausible enough given his travels and connections. Stay tuned.

DON SURBER: Iran On The Ropes. “Iran is having a worse month than the stock market. Both have been hit by corona virus scares and a sudden drop in oil prices. But the stock market will recover. I am not so sure about Iran.”

BIDEN BUILDS ON SUPER TUESDAY MOMENTUM WITH BIG WIN IN MICHIGAN PRIMARY.

TRUMP’S 2020 WINNING STRATEGY FLIPS THE SCRIPT ON RONALD REAGAN: “Trump has learned that the more personal the criticism the more questions are raised in people’s minds. For the president, there are no boundaries anymore — especially after his opponents have spread scurrilous rumors and lies about his personal life. The basic message is a winner, especially for presidents running for a second term: You’re taking a chance in voting for my opponent. Stick with me because I’m the safe choice.”

Read the whole thing.

SPOILER: IT’S OVER. Is It Over? Biden Edges Out Bernie in Crucial Battleground State.

OPEN THREAD: If any of y’all are still alive out there. Me, I died after Net Neutrality was repealed, was briefly resurrected, then succumbed again to the Trump tax cuts.

MILESTONE: SpaceX Dragon cargo ship, the last to be caught by robot arm, arrives at space station.

JAMES LILEKS: Six movies about pandemics to watch (or avoid) if you’re stuck at home. Including, not surprisingly:

“THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN” (1971)

The bug: A microscopic speck of silicon-based green goop that kills instantly by making all your blood clot.

The plot: Based on Michael Crichton’s first techno-thriller, it concerns a satellite that crashes in a tiny New Mexico town. Of course, the locals open it up, and minutes later everyone’s buzzard feed.

The team assembled to fight includes the calm, logical scientist; the young, handsome doctor angry at “the system:” the curmudgeon who’s too old for this, and the sarcastic, disillusioned but brilliant researcher with a dangerous secret. These all are clichés, of course — but they weren’t clichés in 1971. In fact, it almost plays like a documentary.

All of the recent photos of men in haz-mat suits, and the Chinese spraying bleach onto city streets at night from giant trucks is pretty much the 21st century promised by Hollywood’s 1970s eco-obsessed sci-fi until Star Wars in 1977.

DNC ANNOUNCES NO AUDIENCE AT UPCOMING PRIMARY DEBATE BECAUSE OF CORONAVIRUS OUTBREAK.

Related: Biden, Sanders Cancel Cleveland Rallies Over Coronavirus Concerns.

GOOD AND HARD: Kate Brown counters Oregon GOP walkouts with sweeping executive order. Senate Republican leader Herman Baertschiger Jr. “said many rural counties oppose the so-called cap-and-trade concept. ‘It’s obvious Kate Brown is not Oregon’s Governor, she is Portland’s Governor, and as she promised, she is serving revenge, cold and slowly,’ he said in a statement.”

UPDATE (FROM GLENN): That state secession paper is heating up.