NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE: Wise Men Actually Just Sent Gifts Using Free Amazon Prime Shipping, Scholars Now Believe.

From the Babylon Bee, Bethlehem’s Newspaper of Record.

ROGER SIMON: Pelosi and Company Hightail It to Warming Conference as Impeachment Flounders.

What is this “global warming” they speak of? Seven New York counties under state of emergency as snowstorm slams Northeast.

I blame the rapid implementation of the Green Nude Eel.

HOW’S THAT SPACE PROGRAM COMING ALONG? Fireball Spotted Over Australian Desert May Have Been Super-Rare ‘Minimoon.’ “It was thanks to images taken by these cameras – called the Desert Fireball Network – that astronomers were able to ascertain the fireball was no ordinary exploding space rock. Instead, velocity data revealed the rock had probably been in orbit around Earth before meeting its fiery end; a phenomenon known as a temporarily captured orbiter, or, colloquially, a minimoon.”

AT AMAZON, Cyber Monday deals in Automotive Tools and Equipment.

Plus, save on Bestselling Jewelry.

WE’RE GOING TO FIND OUT THAT THE PATRIARCHY WAS A FEMALE CONSTRUCT ALL ALONG, AREN’T WE? Mothers Push Gender Stereotypes More Than Fathers, Study Reveals.

LONG TIME PASSING: Where Have All the Alphas Gone?

DISPATCHES FROM THE EDUCATION APOCALYPSE: Jewish student should resign if traveling to Israel, says student gov’t.

(Found via Small Dead Animals, which notes, “Scratch McGill University, find a cesspool of anti-Semitism.”)

DISPATCHES FROM PALLYWOOD: Latest Libel: The Arrest of the Innocent, Bike-Riding Palestinian Boy.

(Classical reference in headline.)

THE STORY THAT IS NEVER TOLD: I Lost My Girlfriend In A Hallmark Movie. This Is My Story.

WE’VE DESCENDED INTO SOME SORT OF BIZARRE HELL-WORLD IN WHICH NEWSWEEK IS A BASTION OF JOURNALISTIC RESPONSIBILITY: “Newsweek has demoted the editor who published and failed to update an inaccurate story about President Trump’s Thanksgiving Day plans, days after the publication terminated the reporter who wrote the story.”

BRAD TEMPLETON: Managing a Tesla charging line. “They would all start with Tesla managing the line, rather than having drivers queue up. This is to say that when you approached the station, Tesla would put in you a digital line, manage your place in the line, and alert you which charging station to go charge at when the time came. You could only charge at that station, and nobody else could and signs would clearly say that. Tesla knows where all cars are, and what their state of charge is, and even in most cases where they are going next. Cars are already told to signal their approach to the charger via navigation, so the car can heat up the battery to the desired temperature for charging, which speeds up the session. There many many big advantages to Tesla managing the line. It avoids the need for a physical line, and when the line is long, drivers could go do other things, like go to a restaurant to start their meal, as long as they can pause that task to plug in when needed.”

DISPATCHES FROM THE WOKE OLYMPICS:

● Shot: Elizabeth Warren: My goal is to be the last president elected via the electoral college.

● Chaser: Harris: Marijuana Offenders Should Be ‘First in Line’ for Cannabis Industry Jobs.

● Hangover: Pete Buttigieg nods in agreement when leftist pastor says Mexican illegal immigrants are ‘coming back to land we stole.’

● The DTs: Biden Says He Loves ‘Kids Jumping On My Lap,’ Details Bizarre Leg Hair Story.

All the Democrats have to do is not be crazy, and they can’t even do that.

DEMOCRAT STRATEGIST SEES THREAT IN POLLS SHOWING BLACK SUPPORT FOR TRUMP: There’s one anyway.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: You May Now Play Christmas Music.

From the Babylon Bee, America’s Paper of Record.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING(?) JOE: Is Joe Biden a Literal Zombie? “Accusing a presidential candidate of being an ambulatory cadaver shouldn’t be done lightly, but there’s plenty of evidence. Well, three pieces of evidence. That’s more than two!”

WHERE BLUE HADES MEET DEEP SEVENS: Mysterious Tectonic Fault Zone Detected Off The Coast of California.

TRAIN WRECK: Hunter Biden blows off court hearing over child support as his lawyer abruptly quits while glam baby mama Lunden Roberts leaves court after judge demanded three years of tax returns from ex-VP’s troubled son.

PAINTING HOUSES: The Irishman Arrives on Netflix.

I have some thoughts on Martin Scorsese’s coda, over at Ed Driscoll.com.

(Bumped.)

TO BE FAIR, SO DO CONSERVATIVES, LIBERTARIANS, MODERATES, AND INDEPENDENTS: Liberals Hate Michael Bloomberg.

CARRY GUN COMPARISON: SIG Sauer P365 vs. Glock G43. I shot the 365 a few weeks ago and was surprised to be underwhelmed. The 43 is next on my list. I’ll give the 365 another chance, too — my hands were pretty beat up from lifting that day, which may have colored my experience.

AT AMAZON, Top Gift Ideas.

Plus, Shop Amazon – Most Wished For Items.

WHAT, ARE THEY INSANE? Psychiatrists Organize Campaign to Declare Trump ‘Dangerous,’ Back Impeachment.

PAST PERFORMANCE IS NO GUARANTEE OF FUTURE RESULTS:

Shot: John Kerry on climate change: ‘We’ve got to treat this like a war.’

—The Washington Examiner, yesterday.

Chaser:

I would like to talk on behalf of all those veterans and say that several months ago in Detroit we had an investigation at which over 150 honorably discharged, and many very highly decorated, veterans testified to war crimes committed in Southeast Asia. These were not isolated incidents but crimes committed on a day-to-day basis with the full awareness of officers at all levels of command. It is impossible to describe to you exactly what did happen in Detroit – the emotions in the room and the feelings of the men who were reliving their experiences in Vietnam. They relived the absolute horror of what this country, in a sense, made them do.

They told stories that at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.

We call this investigation the Winter Soldier Investigation.

—John Kerry, testifying before the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations, April 22, 1971, as quoted by WinterSoldier.com.

“Freud called it displacement,” Julia Gorin wrote in “Backstory: Global warbling,” at the Christian Science Monitor in 2006. “People fixate on the environment when they can’t deal with real threats. Combating the climate gives nonhawks a chance to look tough. They can flex their muscle for Mother Nature, take a preemptive strike at an SUV. Forget the Patriot Act, it’s Kyoto that’ll save you.”

Or as Tim Blair joked when AOC was evoking FDR and WWII during her disastrous unveiling of the Green Nude Eel, “Fair enough. Nuking Hiroshima it is, then.”

OH: Buttigieg Agrees That Illegal Aliens Are ‘Reclaiming Stolen Land.’