TAKING SIDES: Facebook suspends Trump-linked firm Cambridge Analytica.

WHY ARE LEFTY-DOMINATED INSTITUTIONS SUCH CESSPITS OF BIGOTRY? Comedian James Adomian: SNL Has a Problem With Gay Men.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: The Useful Book: 201 Life Skills They Used to Teach in Home Ec and Shop. Nice gift for any teenagers and college students in your life.

OH, SHUT UP: Arnold Schwarzenegger Calls For Warning Labels on ‘Every Product That Has Fossil Fuels.’

WE’RE FROM THE GOVERNMENT AND WE’RE HERE TO HELP YOU: State: Voicemail about cracking in bridge wasn’t picked up.

NEW CIVILITY WATCH: Eric Holder tells GOP, ‘You want to have a knife fight, we’re gonna do it.’

I eagerly await Paul Krugman’s stern denunciation of this eliminationist rhetoric.

FAR LEFT WATCH: Communist militia leader arrested on weapons charges.

ANOTHER BIG CORRECTION: We Were Totally Wrong About That Scott Kelly Space Genes Story. “It turns out we got the story wrong in a big way. In the original story, we reported that 7 percent of Kelly’s genetic code had changed after his stint in space. But that enormous level of genetic change would mean Kelly went to outer space and came back a space alien: All humans share more than 99 percent of our DNA, and we share more than 98 percent of our DNA with chimpanzees, our closest living relatives.”

SOMEWHAT FEWER THINK THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER HAS IMPROVED THEM:  Most people think they have improved their significant other.

IT ISN’T WHAT YOU THINK – IT’S WORSE!  The ‘penis facial’ is the latest disturbing beauty treatment.

WHAT CAN’T GO ON, WON’T:  Academics reeling as market discipline comes to the University of Wisconsin.

WAIT, WHAT?   China’s out-of-control space station may crash to Earth within a month.

THEIR GENERAL UNDERSTANDING OF HISTORY IS ABOUT THE SAME AS HILLARY’S:  Dems Only Pretend to Disavow Hillary’s ‘White Women’ Comments.

QUIS CUSTODIET IPSOS CUSTODES?  Who can investigate whom?

WHY NOT? THEY EXPLOIT EVERYTHING ELSE:  Exploitation Of Special Needs For Gun Control?

WHAT CAN’T GO ON WON’T:  Disgraced Media Already Hit with Massive Layoffs in 2018.

THAT’S JUST…. THAT….  Midwife delivers her own baby by C-section.

STILL NOT TIRED OF WINNING!   Matt Damon moving family to Australia because of Trump.

WELL: FBI’s Andrew McCabe fired, effective immediately, before he could retire.

UPDATE: Don Surber has thoughts.

THEY OBSESS ABOUT GLUTEN, BUT THAT’S WHERE THEIR KNOWLEDGE STOPS: Corn? Wheat? It’s All The Same To The New Yorker.

Remember, these are the Very Smart People that the flyover sloping-forehead types are supposed to defer to. Because knowledge!

MAKE OPEN THREADS GREAT AGAIN.

WHAT DEMOGRAPHIC COLLAPSE LOOKS LIKE: Japan’s lonely seniors are shoplifting in search of the community and stability of jail.

“My husband died last year,” one inmate says. “We didn’t have any children, so I was all alone. I went to a supermarket to buy vegetables, and I saw a package of beef. I wanted it, but I thought it would be a financial burden. So I took it.”

Neither the government nor the private sector has established an effective rehabilitation program for seniors, and the costs to keep them in prison are rising fast. Expenses associated with elder care helped push annual medical costs at correctional facilities past 6 billion yen (more than $50 million) in 2015, an 80 percent increase from a decade before. Specialized workers have been hired to help older inmates with bathing and toileting during the day, but at night these tasks are handled by guards.

At some facilities, being a correctional officer has come to resemble being a nursing-home attendant. Satomi Kezuka, a veteran officer at Tochigi Women’s Prison, about 60 miles north of Tokyo, says her duties now include dealing with incontinence. . . .

“I was imprisoned for the first time when I was 70. When I shoplifted, I had money in my wallet. Then I thought about my life. I didn’t want to go home, and I had nowhere else to go. Asking for help in prison was the only way.”

Sad.

TEACH WOMEN NOT TO RAPE! (CONT’D): Silicon Valley’s Favorite Prison Reformer Accused of Sexual Assault and Harassment.

Defy settled a complaint brought by a female former employee who said Hoke “reached her hand up the employee’s skirt twice at a company party,” according to Gordon’s letter to prison officials.

“The employee signed an NDA [nondisclosure agreement] prohibiting her from disclosing the incident or the existence of the NDA to anyone except the CEO, her husband or the COO,” Gordon’s letter continued. “Two employees who witnessed the assault were forced to relinquish their personal mobile phones and passwords” and were questioned by an attorney from Gordon & Rees.

The lawyer involved did not comment on the allegations. A former employee who spoke with The Daily Beast supported Gordon’s claims that two witnesses had been made to surrender their phones.

It wasn’t the only time Hoke was accused of sexual harassment at Defy.

A former Defy client, Kenneth Maxwell, sued Hoke in 2015 alleging he was forced out of the program over his “refusal to consummate a personal and sexual relationship” with Hoke, according to his complaint. The lawsuit was dismissed after Maxwell failed to serve defendants with a summons and complaint.

Another female employee told The Daily Beast Hoke sexually harassed her during a business trip in 2014, insisting the woman share a bed with her.

#TimesUp.

SCIENCE: Study Challenges “Healthy But Obese” Theory.

I BLAME GLOBAL WARMING: Chicago leads U.S. in underwater homes.

More than a decade after the housing bust, the problem of underwater homeownership “remains elevated in Chicago because your housing recovery has been more sluggish relative to what we’re seeing nationally,” said Frank Nothaft, CoreLogic’s chief economist.

Nothaft attributed the slow pace of recovery here to job growth that’s “not as robust” as in other cities and to a years-long struggle with a high number of foreclosures in the wake of the economic downturn of the mid-2000s.

What could go wrong?