SOME SIGNS OF INTELLIGENCE:  Brooklyn Official Wants Off-Duty Police To Carry In Church Now.

WOW, THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE. THAT’S LIKE SAYING WATER IS WET OR THAT SOCIALISM NEVER WORKS: SHOCKING: Gun Confiscation Hasn’t Helped D.C. Crime Rate.

AND SOME LEVELS WHERE NO MAN HAS EVER GONE. AND YET THE LEFT IS DOING IT:  Blaming Trump For Shooting At Tree Of Life Synagogue Is Wrong On Every Level.

LET ME GET MY WELLIES:  VG Presents: Leftist Douchery Roundup.

WHAT? WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OBAMAVILLES?  Salon Goes For Another Spin: U.S. Homeless Problem is All Trump.

THERE IS NO WAY ANY SATIRIST CAN IMPROVE UPON REAL LIFE FOR ITS PURE ABSURDITY: Bomb Suspect Cesar Sayoc And Stormy Daniels Worked at the Same Strip Club.

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THE SUPREME COURT WOULD PREFER NOT TO:  Alas, the Supreme Court declined today to review Metcalf v. United States.  The question of whether Congress can prohibit hate crimes by using its Thirteenth Amendment power to prohibit  slavery will thus go unresolved by the nation’s highest court.

(On the upside for today, I learned to shoot skeet and wasn’t nearly as bad at it as I thought I would be.)

SAD! ‘Big Bang Theory’ inserts anti-Trump message into credits.

DONALD TRUMP ON LAURA INGRAHAM’S INGRAHAM ANGLE: According to the President, Andrew Gillum (Democrat candidate for governor of Florida) is a stone cold thief and if elected governor of Florida, Florida will become Venezuela –Chavista socialist Venezuela. No link to the interview yet but the link’ll eventually emerge.

FACT-CHECKING JOURNALIST TROPES:

OPEN THREAD: Do your best.

FLASHBACK: Social Media Firms Want Us Addicted To Approval.

PAST PERFORMANCE IS NO GUARANTEE OF FUTURE RESULTS:

● Shot: Menendez: Resign and spare us the drama.

—Editorial headline, New Jersey Star-Ledger, April 2nd, 2015.

● Chaser: Choke it down, and vote for Menendez.

—Editorial headline, New Jersey Star-Ledger, yesterday.

Nothing like seeing a newspaper endorse a candidate who resignation it once demanded.

(Via Phil Kerpen, who tweets, “Trump broke the Star-Ledger editorial board.”)

Related: Emerson Poll: Schumer’s $6M infusion hasn’t boosted Menendez’ fortunes in NJ.

VICTOR DAVIS HANSON: Caravan Contradictions. “A ‘caravan’—the euphemism for a current foot-army of more than 10,000 Central Americans—of would-be border crossers has now passed into Mexico. The marchers promise they will continue 1,000 miles and more northward to the U.S. border, despite warnings from President Trump that as unauthorized immigrants they will be turned away. No one has yet explained how, or by whom or what, such a mass of humanity has been supplied, cared for, and organized. Once at the border, the immigrants further predict that they will successfully, but illegally, enter the United States, then claim refugee status, and finally rely on sympathetic public opinion—and progressive political activism—to avoid deportation. If past experience is any guide, they are quite right in thinking they can melt into the population, ignore future legal summonses, and count on the de facto amnesty that currently protects 22 million illegal aliens, the vast majority from Mexico and Central America.”

AT AMAZON, save in Arts Crafts and Sewing.

Plus, browse deals in Industrial and Scientific.

WHY AMERICA DESPERATELY NEEDS ANOTHER BABY BOOM. But as the Chinese are learning, once you discourage a couple of generations from having as many kids as they want, later generations don’t want as many kids.

YES:

FLASHBACK: Our Caveman Politics.

MAYBE MEDIA FASHIONS ARE DISCONNECTED FROM WHAT ACTUAL AMERICANS THINK AND DO? Why Is Chardonnay Still America’s Best-selling Wine? “All the way back in 1995, the New York Times reported on the ‘Anything But Chardonnay’ movement. Yet, about 25 years after Chardonnay became ‘unfashionable,’ Americans still drink more of it than any other kind of wine.”

GIANT INFLATABLE COLON STOLEN IN KANSAS.

Does anyone know Dave Barry’s whereabouts?

UPDATE: BREAKING: Kansas City Police have recovered the giant inflatable ‘stolen colon.’

Barry may be off the hook now.

ALL LIVES MATTER: Matthew McConaughey Brings Lunch To Houston Police Officers.

SCRAPPLEFACE: Megyn Kelly Reappears, Ending Nationwide Search.

WORKPLACE ACCIDENTS UPDATE: Hamas Commander killed at Gaza border when ‘hand grenade’ exploded prematurely.