MY USA TODAY COLUMN ON THE ELECTIONS: Election results 2018: Forget the blue wave and behold the purple puddle.

HERE COME THE CRAZIES! Nancy Pelosi As Speaker, Maxine Waters, Adam Schiff, Elijah Cummings In Leadership Roles.

DEBBIE STABENOW BEATS JOHN JAMES, but by a surprisingly narrow margin.

THE KAVANAUGH EFFECT:

UPDATE:

UPDATE:

FOX CALLS MISSOURI SENATE RACE FOR JOSH HAWLEY OVER CLAIRE MCCASKILL.

KEVIN CRAMER UNSEATS DEMOCRAT HEIDI HEITKAMP IN NORTH DAKOTA.

Earlier: Heitkamp Ad Apologizing for Outing Sexual Assault Victims May Have Violated FEC Rules.

DEMOCRAT GILLUM CONCEDES FLORIDA GOVERNOR’S RACE TO RON DESANTIS.

FOX CALLS OHIO GOVERNOR FOR MIKE DEWINE OVER OBAMA DEMOCRAT RICHARD CORDRAY.

NBC, ABC, POLITICO, HUFFPOST ALL CALL TED CRUZ OVER ROBERT O’ROURKE.

NBC tweets, “With Ted Cruz’s victory in Texas, @NBCNews projects Republicans control the Senate.”

FOX CALLS NORTH DAKOTA FOR REPUBLICAN KEVIN CRAMER, FOR ANOTHER GOP SENATE PICKUP. The Kavanaugh Effect seems to be kicking in, with Manchin (who supported Kavanaugh) winning, and Donnelly and Heitkamp who opposed Kavanaugh, going down.

UPDATE: The Kavanaugh election: The Democratic Joe who voted for him won. The Democratic Joe who voted against him lost.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Fox calls Texas for Cruz (ABC has already done so) and projects that the GOP will retain Senate control.

BOTTOM STORY OF THE DAY: Mitt Romney wins in Utah. I expect him to fill the Corker/Flake squish role.

FOX PROJECTS THAT DEMOCRATS WILL TAKE THE HOUSE.

OPEN THREAD: Discuss what’s going on. Or Salma Hayek. Your call.

FOX CALLS WEST VIRGINIA FOR MANCHIN. Also calls a GOP pickup in Indiana, with Mike Braun beating Joe Donnelly.

AN EASY WIN FOR BILL LEE IN TENNESSEE. I think he’ll be a good governor.

UPDATE: Fox calls New Jersey Senate race for Menendez, and Tennessee for Marsha Blackburn. Bredesen was the Dems’ best and only chance for winning that seat in Tennessee; they don’t have much of a bench.

WELL, SOON WE’LL KNOW SOMETHING. The bed-wetting phase is finally over.

AT AMAZON, deals on Wine.

Plus, save on bestselling Pet Supplies.

RESULTS COMING IN AT THE PJMedia Live Blog.

REUTERS: WIN OR LOSE, ROBERT “BETO” O’ROURKE IS A TOTAL WINNER.

THE LEFT IS 100% RESULT-ORIENTED: The Left is preparing either to praise or vilify white women, depending on today’s results.

The Right has a steadfast fall guy, rightly or wrongly, in media bias. We’ve seen the Left, instead, try to reinvent excuses for the past two years. But it initially chose fake news, only to realize that Republicans would effectively hijack it. Then came Russia, followed by the laments of the electoral college.

Leading up to today, two narratives have emerged from the Left. First is the statistically probable one — namely that the blue wave is significantly contingent on suburban white women swinging left, in tandem with voter turnout. On the other side of the coin is the excuse: If Democrats lose, it’s because fragile, complicit white women couldn’t leave the kitchen long enough to vote against their husbands.

This isn’t a straw man. It’s their actual argument. Tamika Mallory, Women’s March organizer and Louis Farrakhan BFF, calls the demographic trend of white women voting for Republicans their ” Becky situation.”

“Dear white women: Here’s how to step up for women of color,” wrote Victoria Rodriguez at Mashable. (Spoiler alert: Vote “intersectional,” read: Democrat.)

Pod Save America warned the “47 percent of White Women who didn’t sell us out” to convince the 53 percent who voted for Trump to go blue.

Best yet, Jen Kirkman warned white women, “Vote like your husbands aren’t watching.” Because naturally, all white women still live in a kitchen in Victorian England. Or modern-day Iran.

And as for the white women who don’t follow the blue line? Ex-GOP strategist Cheri Jacobus says they are a part of his “rancid, racist base,” comprising solely of “uneducated white men ( and the women who make them their sandwiches).”

To be fair, the Insta-Wife makes an awesome sandwich. She sent me off with one for the plane last weekend.

VIDEO: Beltway Voters Say They Were Sending a Message to Trump on Election Day.

WHY ARE DEMOCRATS SO MEAN? Rich white Hollywood liberals are trying to get this Hispanic Uber driver fired because he’s a Trump supporter.

WE’LL KNOW SHORTLY: Democrats poised to win governors races as ‘eight-year itch’ hits voters.

IT’S ONLY A PARTIAL FIX, NOT A CURE, BUT IT’S STILL GOOD NEWS: St. Louis doctors may have found fix for polio-like illness affecting kids across U.S.

His family eventually turned to Dr. Amy Moore, of Washington University in St. Louis. “My goal with the children with AFM was to restore hip stability, and then motion of the upper legs,” she said.

Brandon would receive what doctors say is a first-of-its-kind surgery that allowed him to walk again.

Moore says she’s the only doctor in the U.S. to perform nerve transfers on children’s lower extremities. “I used what they have. They were wiggling their toes, and so I was able to move a nerve that wiggles the toes to the hips.”

Surgeons at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles are also seeing some success with nerve transfer surgery to help children after a bout with AFM.

Fourteen months ago, Moore performed the nerve transfer surgery on Brandon’s leg at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. According to Dr. Moore, children typically respond best to this type of surgery because their nerves grow back more quickly. She said nerve transfers are most successful within nine months of diagnosis.

During last week’s check-up, Brandon was walking again. “It’s been amazing,” he said. “Thanks to Miss Doctor Moore, I can go outside, play with my brothers, play football.” He said now he only uses his wheelchair to play basketball.

The cause of AFM is still unknown, but it seems to develop after a viral illness. According to the CDC, nearly 400 people have been diagnosed since 2014.

I don’t like it, and wish it would go away.

IT’S ALWAYS NICE TO MAKE TWITCHY, especially with an obscure L.A. Story reference.