HOW THE VEGAN SAUSAGE GETS MADE: UK Blogger Propels Fake Restaurant to the Top Rated Spot on ‘TripAdvisor’ in London.

AT AMAZON: CRKT M16-01KZ Folding Spear Point Straight Edge Knife.

TOO MANY SCANDALS: Howie Carr: Time To Abolish The FBI. “The G-men have degenerated into nothing more than a racketeering enterprise, a banana republic-style criminal conspiracy of vast proportions.”

And, living in Boston, Carr has had more exposure than most to Bureau perfidy:

This is, after all, the FBI. They lie like a rug, always have, always will.

Think about Zip Connolly ­— “decorated” FBI agent now doing life in a Florida prison for a gangland hit in Florida. Or H. Paul Rico, another G-man who died in a prison hospital in Oklahoma after being arrested for yet another organized-crime rubout in Oklahoma. And this is just the Boston office, where gangster Stevie Flemmi told the DEA that he and Whitey Bulger were bribing six — six! —agents.

Boston, the same FBI office where the agents knew that a hood named Teddy Deegan was going to be hit, and by whom. Yet they let it happen and then allowed four innocent men to be framed for the murder in order to protect the serial-killing brother of Flemmi, who after all was paying them all off.

As evil as all this stuff is, it pales in comparison to what it now appears was an attempted coup by the top brass of the FBI.

If you can’t trust your secret police, what kind of country do you live in?

THE REVOLT AGAINST THE MASSES: SCOTTeVest Inventor: I Advertise on Fox News Because Viewers Are ‘Incredibly Gullible’ ‘F***ing Idiots.’

Whenever he asks people where they heard of him, “invariably people say FOXNews,” [Scott Jordon] said. “I laugh to myself, and tell them that we primarily advertise on Fox because we find their viewership to be extremely gullible and much easier to sell than other networks.” he continued. “The look on their face at that time is priceless. I am not kidding you. I get to tell them they are f***ing idiots while getting rich off them.”

As Fred Siegel wrote three years ago in The Revolt Against the Masses: How Liberalism Has Undermined the Middle Class, “The best short credo of liberalism came from the pen of the once canonical left-wing literary historian Vernon Parrington in the late 1920s. ‘Rid society of the dictatorship of the middle class,’ Parrington insisted, referring to both democracy and capitalism, ‘and the artist and the scientist will erect in America a civilization that may become, what civilization was in earlier days, a thing to be respected.’”

Full of citizens whom an inventor of a multi-pocket jacket can finally be proud to sell his schmattas.

HUH. THE NEVERTRUMPERS TOLD ME HE WAS A CON MAN WHO WOULD NEVER DELIVER ANYTHING. Heritage: Donald Trump has achieved more than Ronald Reagan in first year.

K12 IMPLOSION UPDATE: Teacher Strips Naked On Elementary School Playground, Chases Nearby Students.

I WANT TRUMP TO APPOINT PEOPLE WHO WON’T DO THIS: Chief Justice Roberts is “Growing In Office.”

THAT WOULD BE AWFUL: Potential citizenship question in 2020 Census could shift power to rural America.

The citizenship question is a particularly fraught one because noncitizens, who may not vote, nonetheless are counted for the purposes of distributing federal funding, apportioning congressional seats and drawing district maps for state and local elections.

A majority of the nation’s undocumented immigrants live in just 20 metropolitan areas, according to a 2014 Pew Research Center study of Census Bureau data, numbering about 1 million in the New York and Los Angeles areas, 575,000 in Houston and 475,000 in Dallas.

That makes urban leaders, mostly Democrats, alarmed by the possibility of the citizenship question — primarily because census data help guide the distribution of more than $675 billion a year in federal funding.

My heart is not overflowing with sympathy.

NEXT: A REBOOT OF MR. ED WITH THE ORIGINAL HORSE. Candice Bergen to return to CBS in ‘Murphy Brown’ revival.

These guys really don’t have any new ideas left.

IT’S TONIGHT’S OPEN THREAD: Continue the conversation!

WE NEED A LOT OF POLLING-PLACE SUPERVISION TO PREVENT THIS SORT OF THING: Overheard at Philly polling place: No GOP votes ‘on my machine!’

THE KIND OF THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR NICKNAME IS MAD DOG: Indonesian special forces drink snake blood to impress U.S. SecDef Mattis.

PROF. ELIZABETH BARTHOLET IN THE HARVARD CRIMSON: #MeToo Excesses.

INVESTOR’S BUSINESS DAILY: The FBI Is Looking Guilty As Hell In Russia Probe.

SOCIALISM OF FOOLS: Fusion-Linked Conspiracy Theorists in the Media Go to the Place All Conspiracy Theorists Ultimately Go: The Jews Are Behind It All. “The media, while claiming Trump is anti-semitic, serves up piping-hot anti-semitic conspiracy theories of Jews working in league with RUSSIANS to undermine Christian America.”

(Classical reference in headline.)

TAMARA KEEL: Hammer Down.

TEACH WOMEN NOT TO RAPE (CONT’D): Female therapist ‘seduced patient in hot tub and kissed her breasts and inner thighs.’

AT AMAZON, January Deals on Appliances.

Plus, save on Herbs, Spices, and Seasonings.

TAR. FEATHERS. How an Arizona couple’s innocent bath-time photos of their kids set off a 10-year legal saga.

The Demarees said they were harmless shots of the children goofing around, no different than what you’d expect to find in any family scrapbook. But police and social workers launched a full-blown sex abuse investigation, raiding the couple’s home and putting the girls in protective custody for a month while they interviewed dozens of family members and friends about whether the Demarees were child sex offenders.

When authorities declined to bring charges — judges who reviewed the pictures found they were, in fact, harmless family photos — the couple sued two Child Protective Services employees, among others, alleging constitutional violations.

On Tuesday, after a series of defeats in the case, a federal appeals court affirmed what the Demarees have argued all along: that their children were taken from them for no good reason.

Seriously, government employees who behave this way should be whipped through the streets naked, then forced to spend a full day in the stocks. Taking someone’s children without solid reason is an outrageous violation.

YOUR DAILY TREACHER: Keep Dreaming, Dreamers.

WELL, THEY DON’T CALL HIM “PRESIDENT ZOOLANDER” FOR NOTHING: Justin Trudeau: Maybe he is just really, really stupid.

SPACE: This Was a Huge Week for the NASA-Russia Lunar Space Station and the Future of Spaceflight.

“I’M OUT!” 10 Seinfeld Moments That Totally Nailed Real Life.

SEEN ON FACEBOOK:

I don’t think “embarrassing meme” is how Cathy Newman would have chosen to define her career, but that’s the game she chose to play.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH THIS STORY: 12 Sexy Camels Kicked Out of Beauty Contest for Using Botox.