TEACH WOMEN NOT TO RAPE! (CONT’D): “I cannot begin to explain the terror of being notified that my son had been sexually abused and it was on videotape that had been circulated throughout the school for others to see.” Why are public schools such cesspits of sexual predation?

THE ONLY WAY TO BE FREE: Discovering Truth.

HAVE NO FUTURE: “Those who forget the past..”

HE’S RIGHT, YOU KNOW? Giuliani to EU: You’d Be ‘Far Stronger’ Without ‘Socialist Economies’.

BODYCAM, JUST PLAIN SMART:Woman Accuses Cop of Sexual Assault, Body Cam Footage Proves Otherwise.

SOME OF US THINK HIS POLITICAL CAREER IS COMEDY. DARK COMEDY: Sen. Franken Returns to ‘Comedy’ Via Climate Change Videos .

PITY THEM. OR MOCK THEM.  JUST DON’T TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY: Poor Darlings.

THE MEDIA SEES NOZZING: A Russia collusion story worth pursuing.

BECAUSE PASSPORTS ARE ISSUED IN HER NAME: Why the Queen doesn’t need to own a passport.

BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE NEVER GROW UP: New technology aims to thwart online dating fraud.

FINDING OUR WAY BACK: How Do We Rediscover Our American Heritage? Start With the Declaration.

YOU STAY CLASSY, ABC. Nasty: Jimmy Kimmel Airs Fake Interview with Grotesque Puppet of Kellyanne Conway.

Just ask the media — there’s no bias. But don’t hold your breath waiting for Spitting Image-style Hillary or Michelle Obama puppets from Kimmel anytime soon.

80 YEARS OF NARRATIVE IN A SINGLE ARTICLE: Have You Heard? All Republican Presidents Are Stupid.

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GOALPOSTS MOVED: From “hacking” to “collusion” to “willingness to collude.”

IT’S COME TO THIS: Is Speaking With Tucker Carlson A Punishable Offense? Many of Professor Bret Weinstein’s faculty colleagues issued heated demands for him to resign.

WHY ARE LEFTY PUBLICATIONS SUCH CESSPITS OF SEXISM? Slate must think the word “male” in this headline makes it not just okay but hilarious.

TEACH WOMEN NOT TO RAPE! (CONT’D): “The claims against Jill Lamontagne, 29, from Maine, only came to light in mid-June after the alleged victim tried to take his own life.”

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THIS IS BIG: California Bar Examiners Stripped Of Authority To Determine Passing Score On State Bar Exam. I assume this means the California Supreme Court thinks they were flunking people to reduce competition.

CAN’T SAY I BLAME THEM: Hundreds of cops turn their backs on Mayor de Blasio at slain officer’s funeral.

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RISE OF THE GIANT RANGEOMORPHS: As scary as an Al Gore or Michael Mann global warming climate change horror story. They lived in the ocean. They looked like plants. But they were probably animals, with ecophenotypic plasticity.

Ecophenotypic plasticity refers to changes in an organism’s form (or phenotype) wrought by environmental influences.

Rangeomorphs lived 570 million years ago, but ecophenotypic plasticity isn’t over ’til it’s over. The 21st century is plagued by new forms of ecophenotypic plasticity. For example, Hillary Clinton looks like an animal but she’s really a plant with political ecophenotypic plasticity. CNN looks like a news network but it’s really an ecophenotypic plastic banana Democrat propaganda machine. I could give you other examples but I’d rather pour myself a shot of bourbon.

HEY: OK, I added the O. Typo, not bourbon.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Meningitis shot also offers some defense against gonorrhea, study finds. “Researchers studying a mass vaccination campaign against meningitis have found a surprising side effect – the shots also offered moderate protection against gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted infection that is causing global alarm. The findings, published in The Lancet medical journal on Tuesday, mark the first time an immunization has shown any protection against gonorrhea and point to new avenues in the search for a gonorrhea vaccine, scientists said. . . . Gonorrhea has become an increasingly urgent global health problem in recent years as strains of the bacterial infection have developed high levels of drug resistance. The World Health Organization warned last week that some totally drug-resistance superbug strains of the disease already pose a major threat. Yet so far, efforts to develop a gonorrhea vaccine have yielded disappointing results.”

WORRIED ABOUT NORTH KOREAN ICBMS AND DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO?: Six course of action options for Trump to consider.