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MY USA TODAY COLUMN IS ON THE FRUITS OF LEFTY GOVERNANCE: Empty Dorms, Empty Mansions.

HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN.

● Shot: “Ginny Carroll, of the then-Washington Post-owned Newsweek, admitted on C-SPAN that during the 1992 Republican Convention, she wore a button that said, ‘Yeah, I’m with the Media — Screw You'”…It’s a brilliant example of journalists dropping the mask and demonstrating both their undeserved hauteur and their visible loathing of their customers.”

—Ed Driscoll.com, August 27th, 2014.

● Chaser: Survey: Newspaper Reporter Now Worst Job in America.

—Stephen Kruiser, today. Read the whole thing, which explains what’s destroying the MSM, far more so than their bias.

JEFF GOLDSTEIN: Hi. It’s me, Jeff. And I have something to say.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO SUBSCRIBE TO BillWhittle.com.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: For Women Who Run, the Bathroom Problem. “On a recent weekend trip to Washington, I was running in Rock Creek Park when the water and coffee I’d had that morning caught up with me. I’d run there only once before so was unsure where relief lay. I’m also a woman, so I couldn’t just pull over to the nearest bush or tree and relieve myself discreetly, the way guys do, through the benefits of outdoor plumbing.”

Actually, I’ve known plenty of women who’d just go behind a bush when out running.

AUDIO: James Miller & Vox Day debate free trade.

SO, BASICALLY, EARLY HUMANS WERE THE DISEASE-RIDDEN BUT IRRESISTIBLE SKANKS OF ANCIENT TIMES: Humans’ Nasty Gift To Neanderthals: Herpes? “Diseases out of Africa may have helped lead to their demise.”

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PERSPECTIVE: Why Vladimir Putin’s People Love Him. “He views his job as every leader outside the Communist bloc did a generation ago, and as pretty much every head of state outside of the United States and the European Union does today: as defending the interests of his people, the first of which is its independence.”

I’m not a fan, but I do wish that our leaders in the West viewed their jobs that way.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: There’s A Better Way To Wash Your Hands. Actually, what’s disturbing is how little even thorough washing does to reduce bacteria levels on your hands: “Those who used the three-step technique saw the average bacterial count on their hands fall from 3.08 colony-forming units per milliliter to 2.88, compared to 3.28 to 2.58 CFU/mL for those who used the six-step method.”

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE: DePaul University Bans Chalk Because It Can Be Used To Spell ‘Trump.’ Jim Treacher comments:

In case I haven’t made myself clear, I do not like Donald Trump and I’m never, ever going to vote for him. His nomination will destroy the Republican Party, if he hasn’t done so already (to which I say: my condolences and/or good riddance). He will ensure what Barack Obama couldn’t: 40 years of Democratic Party rule.

Yet, as loathsome as I find Trump and his lickspittle apologists, I can’t help but laugh at the college students who run for their safe spaces at the mere sight of the man’s name.

It’s hilarious, isn’t it. And if he’s the nominee, I’ll vote for him, partly for this very reason.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Five Worst Airports for a Layover.

Related: Is TSA To Blame For Long Security Lines At Airports?

Yes. Next question?

IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN’T DO? Eating chocolate regularly ‘improves brain function’ according to new study.

Researchers found that regularly eating chocolate was significantly associated with cognitive function “irrespective of other dietary habits”.

More frequent chocolate consumption was “significantly associated with better performance on [cognitive tests including] visual-spatial memory and organisation, working memory, scanning and tracking, abstract reasoning, and the mini-mental state examination”.

Cocoa flavanols, a subgroup of flavonoids, which are found in chocolate, are associated with the positive cognitive function.

If I’m reading this correctly, you don’t even have to give anything up — just adding chocolate to your diet might make you smarter.

So why take a chance by denying yourself a brain-enhancing treat?

IT’S THE END OF AN ERA: Saying goodbye to PJTV and hello to the next crazy experiment in making network TV news without a network.

I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH BERNIE SANDERS’ ISRAEL-SHAMING ‘JEWISH OUTREACH DIRECTOR:’  “So how did a Jewish girl from Los Angeles become a radical? Let’s start from the top,” which in this case is L.A.’s New Community Jewish High School.

Read the whole thing.

SCIENCE: Theranos’ Future Looks Bloody Grim as Feds Threaten a Shutdown.

REPORT: 154 PEOPLE ARE ABOARD A DC METRO TRAIN THAT IS STUCK IN TUNNEL, POSSIBLY UNDER THE POTOMAC RIVER, NEAR ROSSLYN STATION.

As Michael Barone warned earlier this week, Washington DC’s Great Society-era subway is rapidly falling apart.

UPDATE: All passengers evacuated safely.

MY USA TODAY COLUMN IS ON THE FRUITS OF LEFTY GOVERNANCE: Empty Dorms, Empty Mansions.

PROGRESSIVES AND EUGENICS: THE CASE OF JUSTICE BRANDEIS. “While the progressives did introduce a number of helpful, legitimate reforms, they also threw their weight behind some of the most destructive government policies of the era, from race-based restrictions on immigration (justified in the name of protecting U.S. workers from degrading competition) to the South’s racist Jim Crow regime (justified on the grounds that state officials should have broad leeway to control economic affairs),” Damon Root writes at Reason. “Perhaps the most glaring example of this phenomenon is eugenics, a notorious branch of pseudo-science that was championed by most leading progressive politicians and activists and ultimately given the stamp of legal approval by progressive judicial hero Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.”

SHOCKER: Sexually transmitted infections could explain why humans became monogamous.

TEACH WOMEN NOT TO THREATEN MEN WITH WITCHCRAFT! Rapper Azealia Banks Threatens Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey with a ‘Hex:’ “A week after Azealia Banks called for Sarah Palin to be raped by a group of black men, the rapper set her sights on a new target: Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey.”

I think she’s a little too late, unless she’s a time-traveler who applied her hex retroactively…

PRIVACY: Microsoft Sues Justice Department Over Secret Customer Data Searches.

Microsoft Corp. on Thursday filed a lawsuit against the Justice Department, challenging as unconstitutional the government’s authority to bar tech companies from telling customers when their data has been examined by federal agents.

The suit, filed in the federal court here, raises a fundamental question about the cloud computing era: Can the government force technology companies to remain silent about when and how federal agents search their customers’ data? Individuals would know if their home or hard drive were searched by investigators, but investigators now have the ability—and are using it in thousands of cases—to keep secret their searches of data stored on the cloud.

I wonder what the Founders would have thought of secret search warrants, executed without a trace.

FASTER, PLEASE: Chip, Implanted in Brain, Helps Paralyzed Man Regain Control of Hand.

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: You Can Practically Smell the Rocket Fuel In SpaceX’s Barge Landing Photos.