PRO TIP, GUYS, DON’T ASK WOMEN IN BARS TO PERFORM THIS CHECK: Look at your penis, it might have cancer.

GIVE CAPITALISM A CHANCE: For the children! Socialism Kills More Babies than War.

I’M NOT SAYING THAT IT’S ALIENS. BUT IT’S ALIENS. Experts believe mysterious aluminium object dating back 250,000 years ‘could be part of ancient UFO’: Metallic aluminium was not produced by mankind until around 200 years ago – but this appears manufactured making the object a baffling find.

WHEN YOU DON’T REALLY OWN THE GADGETS YOU’VE BOUGHT:

On Thursday night, Tesla announced the new Model X and Model S electric vehicles will now come with the necessary hardware to allow them to drive completely autonomously at a future point in time. But buried in the notes about this new functionality there was also a warning to future Tesla owners: don’t expect to be able to use your EV driving for Uber, Lyft, or any other ride-sharing service that isn’t owned by Tesla.

Sad. And these kind of downstream restraints on purchased goods should be unenforceable.

CHANGE: “One of the heartening developments of the last few years has been the emergence of a serious movement for prison reform on the right. These people are not simply coming over to the left-wing side; they have their own ideas about de-escalating mass incarceration, and an increasingly serious commitment to doing so.”

NO. JUST NO. Candy corn beer is scary popular at St. Paul brewery.

CALIFORNIA SHOWING SOME GIVE ON Public Employee Pensions.

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MAYBE WE CAN GET U.N. OBSERVERS OR SOMETHING: RIGGED:

For years here in Virginia I have observed massive fraud – in the registration process, in the absentee ballot casting, in the battle to remove photo IDs, in the voting at the polls. Recent studies have shown thousands of illegal alien registrations in Virginia, and hundreds of voters also casting votes in other states (college kids the worst offenders). My own identity (SS No.) was stolen last year and used to get a fraudulent tax refund and voting. I have written in the past about the massive fraud here with illegal alien voting. For over a decade the SEIU and its local affiliates have gone through the extensive illegal alien community here in Virginia fraudulently registering illegals who then vote in large numbers, usually in early voting or absentee ballots, because there are no poll watchers to challenge them. They even brag about it.

In 2006, George Allen was beaten by illegal alien vote margins, giving the Senate to the Democrats. Terry McAuliffe is governor because of a narrow margin granted him by illegal alien voting – and a Trump-like NeverCuccinelli movement by establishment Republicans (sound familiar? National Review? Powerline?). We lost two consecutive Attorney General elections by several hundred votes, with illegal aliens the difference. Warner defeated Gillespie for Senate in 2014 by a small vote difference provided by illegals. And my friend the local former Fairfax County Democrat head brags about it when we have coffee together.

So why should Trump say that he will blindly accept the results when Virginia fraud is multiplied 51 times across the country? When Podesta talks about getting illegal aliens to vote with drivers licenses? When Project Veritas shows gloating Democrat operatives talking about registering illegals?

If you’re not even willing to make a stink about it, what are you willing to do?

OK, BUT DOESN’T SMOD HAVE THE LOWEST CARBON FOOTPRINT OF ALL THE CANDIDATES? Four Conservative Reasons to Vote for the Green Party’s Jill Stein.

REVIEW: 2017 Nissan Armada.

BAD LUCK, YOU MIGHT SAY: Today’s Brutal DDoS Attack Is the Beginning of a Bleak Future.

VIDEO: Watch Tesla Demonstrate its New Hardware Enabling Fully Autonomous Driving. “Tesla says every new vehicle it builds will come equipped to be upgraded to fully self-driving capability. The necessary software, however, is still being worked on.”

A WIN FOR FREE MARKETS: Congratulations To The Beacon Center of Tennessee on Winning Its Nashville AirBnb Suit. “Today, the Beacon Center scored a huge victory when it won the very first lawsuit filed by its Legal Foundation. The judge ruled that the city of Nashville’s Airbnb law is unconstitutional. This lawsuit, challenging Airbnb regulations, was the first of its kind anywhere in the nation.”

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QUESTION ASKED: Why Doesn’t BuzzFeed Find Women Hot?

“NO WORD ON WHEN BARACK OBAMA WILL BLAME DONALD TRUMP FOR THIS ONE:” Illinois man charged with intimidation after alleged threat to burn items at GOP headquarters.

TRAVEL: Breathing Less Oxygen Reduces Jet Lag, At Least In Mice.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE, YOU JUST HAVE TO FALL IN LINE. Oprah: ‘You don’t have to like her:’

“She’s not coming over to your house! You don’t have to like her,” she said. “You don’t have to like her. Do you like this country? Do you like this country? You better get out there and vote. Do you like the country? Do you like freedom and liberty? Do you like this country? OK. Do you like democracy or do you want a demagogue?”

Wait, I thought that’s who Oprah endorsed the last time, after which the Washington Post (through its then subsidiary, Newsweek) told America “We Are All Socialists Now,” and Thomas Friedman of the New York Times began extolling the virtues of one-party autocracies.

As Charles C.W. Cooke asked in March, “Herewith, an under-asked question for our friends on the progressive left: ‘Has Donald Trump’s remarkable rise done anything to change your mind as to the ideal strength of the State?’”

(Classical reference in headline.)

FASTER, PLEASE: New antibiotic mined from human gut reverses drug resistance in superbugs.

DISPATCHES FROM THE EDUCATION APOCALYPSE: High School Teacher: ‘To Be White Is To Be Racist, Period.’

Obligatory:

WHY ARE DEMOCRAT-RUN STATES SUCH CESSPITS OF SEXUAL REPRESSION? Heavy-handed Proposition 60 would deputize every Californian as a condom cop.

JUSTICE: Arrested Backpage Execs Ask Kamala Harris To Drop Bogus Case She Herself Has Admitted She Has No Authority To Bring.

ASTRONOMY: The Orionids meteor shower is about to hit its peak – here’s how to watch.

MEET THE SNOO CRIB: The Most Brilliant Invention of 2016 for Tired Parents.