NORMALLY, I GET ALL MY ADVICE FROM SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS: Simple Remedies for Constipation. “Most of the time, relatively simple treatments prove adequate. Even more complex cases, like those that involve a disorder of muscle action in the pelvis, usually respond well to currently available remedies.”

MICHAEL WALSH: FBI Makes It Official: Hillary Rodham Clinton Is Under Investigation.

Or as Iowahawk tweets, “Joe Biden goes to garage, takes cover off his Trans Am.”

OUR RULING CLASS IN A NUTSHELL: Beyonce Sings Anti-Cop Song At Super Bowl… After Getting Highway-Clearing Police Escort.

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MY USA TODAY COLUMN, OCCASIONED BY THE 1000th DAY OF THE IRS SCANDAL: Washington’s culture of corruption rots on: When bureaucrats are above the law, ordinary Americans may want to follow suit.

SUBMITTED WITHOUT COMMENT: Shot.

Chaser:

Hangover:

REMEMBER, SOCIAL-JUSTICE WARRIORS ARE THE ANGRY PEASANTS WITH PITCHFORKS, MASQUERADING AS THE VOICES OF MORALITY AND REASON: Elizabeth Nolan Brown: How Maryland ‘Neomasculinity’ Blogger Roosh V Became an International ‘Pro-Rape’ Villain; A case study of collective catharsis through call-out culture and moral panic as meme.

The bottom line, though, is that “not a single woman has been hurt by me,” says Roosh. “I’ve never been accused of rape, I’ve never been charged. No follower of mine has read something of [mine], and then gone on to rape, because I know if they did hurt a woman it’d be all over the news.”

The whole thing calls to mind two more male writers: Matt Taibbi, probably best known for his work at Rolling Stone, and Mark Ames, who now writes for outlets such as Pando. The pair worked together at an English-language newspaper in Russia in the late ’90s and subsequently published a book about the experience called The Exile: Sex, Drugs, and Libel in the New Russia. Within this book, there are scenes of the mostly-male Exile editors sexually harassing their administrative staff—going so far as to tell secretaries they must sleep with them to keep their jobs—and Ames threatening to kill his pregnant Russian girlfriend if she doesn’t get an abortion. The men never claimed it was satire or nonfiction. In explaining, Ames was prone to saying things like “Russian women, especially on the first date, expect you to rape them.”

Despite this, Taibbi and Ames have continued to flourish as leftist writers, and as far as I know no feminist groups or Canadian mayors have tried to prevent either from visiting the country. Perhaps they’re just lucky to have come of age in a different Internet era. Perhaps it helps that their politics and progressive credentials are otherwise right. . . .

As much as we might hate to admit it, Roosh is a journalist. His main site, Return of Kings—one of the hubs of what’s sometimes called the “Manosphere”—and its forums get two million visits per month. As neither Roosh nor any writers or readers of Return of Kings were under suspicion of criminal behavior, it is at the very least bizarre that law-enforcement officials would feel the need to comment and keep an eye on their gathers. And it’s probably the kind of thing we should condemn, those of us interested in freedom of speech, press, movement, and association.

People will object that these groups were “pro-rape” meetups. But outside media misinformation, there was nothing about the proposed happy hours to suggest they had anything to do with rape.

Well, if he were — seriously, not satirically — writing “pro-rape” manifestos in the name of Islam, his right would be zealously protected by the same people who subjected him to a high-tech lynching.

And, meanwhile, Bill Clinton, who has actually been accused of rape, is out campaigning for Hillary.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MISSED IT OVER THE WEEKEND, my Georgetown paper on Second Amendment Limitations (and how they’re crumbling) is now online. Download it early and often!

GIVEN HOW LOUSY THE DIET ADVICE HAS BEEN, THIS SEEMS LIKE A BETTER APPROACH: Uncovering cardiovascular disease genetics.

A TALE OF TWO QUARTERBACKS: The vaunted Cam-Peyton quarterback match-up in the Super Bowl didn’t amount to much on the field (the game was all defense), but the contrast was clear after the game. Cam Newton made headlines by abruptly walking out of a press conference after uttering a total of 18 words. Yes, it’s tough to lose, but Peyton Manning endured a much worse defeat in the Super Bowl two years ago (a 43-8 shellacking by the Seattle Seahawks), and look at how he performed after that game (the press conference starts at 2:24).  Manning put on a suit and tie, looked reporters in the eye, answered questions and graciously gave credit to the victors. Earlier this season, when Newton’s team was winning, he too appeared at post-game press conferences in a coat and tie and happily answered questions, but when the going got tough, he showed up in a hoodie and sulked — a performance that one former fan described as Pig Newton.

CAST OUT YOUR DEMONS — CONFESS YOUR SINS! Seven Ways I Used To Be A Toxic Person — And How I Changed My Behavior:

This is not a fun thing to admit, but I used to be a toxic person. In fact, my level of toxicity hurt everyone in my life and drove many people away. I was a master at being selfish and making everything about me — all the time. It made a particularly tough period of my life even harder to deal with, too. I was in the deepest, most depressive phase of binge eating disorder (BED), and I was unhappy with the overall direction my life had taken. But I eventually got the help I needed, and now I’m able to look back and see the repercussions of my toxic behavior without experiencing overwhelming guilt.

Even though this all happened a long time ago, it’s not easy for me to put this information out there.

To place the chronology of that last sentence into perspective, according to her LinkedIn profile, the author served as an intern at the Carter Center in 2010, received her B.A. from Emory in 2011, and her Masters in Theological Studies, Religion and the Social Sciences from Harvard in 2013. Perhaps she simply confused leftism with more traditional religion; it’s been a common mistake for decades. And as Kevin Williamson quips on Twitter, “What this story needs is a big picture of me and a lead about how I got over being self-centered.”

ALL I KNOW AFTER LAST NIGHT IS THAT BANK ROBBERS REALLY DIG THE TOYOTA PRIUS FOR HIGH-SPEED GETAWAYS AND LENGTHY CAR CHASES: Are Electric Cars Really Green?

WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING? Evidence Mounts: Minimum Wage Hikes Cost Jobs.

BUT IT WOULD MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE: Pressure on Lynch to Step Aside in Clinton Email Probe.

If the FBI finds sufficient evidence to launch a criminal investigation into Hillary Clinton or one of her top aides for mishandling classified information, Lynch’s Justice Department will have to decide whether to press ahead.

Even if no evidence of wrongdoing is found, Clinton’s many critics are unlikely to take the word of an appointee of President Obama’s and will doubt that justice has been served.

Already, top Republicans are calling for a special prosecutor to be brought in and evaluate the situation.

No. 2 Senate Republican John Cornyn (Texas) took to the floor of the Senate last week to call for a special counsel to be appointed “because of the conflict of interest by asking Attorney General Lynch to investigate and perhaps even prosecute somebody in the Obama administration.”

Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) agrees that Lynch ought to consider a special counsel, a representative said, to reassure the country that decisions are made “without regard to any political considerations.”

The Justice Department, however, has so far declined the request.

“This matter is being reviewed by career attorneys and investigators and does not meet the criteria for the appointment of a special prosecutor,” department spokeswoman Melanie Newman said in a statement. . . .

Maybe this explains why Hillary is “one hundred percent confident” that nothing will come of the FBI investigation.

The current federal regulations relating to the appointment of a special counsel state that the Attorney General “will” appoint a special counsel when:

he or she determines that criminal investigation of a person or matter is warranted and

(a) That investigation or prosecution of that person or matter by a United States Attorney’s Office or litigating Division of the Department of Justice would present a conflict of interest for the Department or other extraordinary circumstances; and

(b) That under the circumstances, it would be in the public interest to appoint an outside Special Counsel to assume responsibility for the matter.

SHAKEUP AT CAMP CLINTON: “Having learned apparently nothing from her top-heavy, expensive, and ultimately doomed 2008 campaign, Hillary Clinton is set for a shakeup just like the one following her first unexpectedly bad Iowa result eight years ago,” Steve Green writes in his PJM Column.

And when Hillary’s lost Politico’s sycophantic Glenn “Badass” Thrush, you know she’s hit an iceberg.

BOX OFFICE POISON: Another Massive Flop for ‘Movie Star’ George Clooney. “We live in a world where the entertainment media pumps up the politically-divisive Clooney up as an actual movie star — as the next Cary Grant, when he is nothing of the kind. Because his politics are correct, people in Hollywood and the Hollywood media love him,” John Nolte writes at Big Hollywood. “Out here in the real world, he’s just another big-mouthed, left-wing actor.”

HOW DONALD TRUMP BROKE THE GOP’S MUSIC CURSE: “Trump is a novel GOP candidate in many ways, but in finally making music work for him, he’s managed to master a problem that has bedeviled the party’s campaigns—from Ronald Reagan 1984 to Michele Bachmann 2012—for decades,” Tevi Troy writes. “Typically—and this problem has plagued the party for more than a generation—a GOP candidate attempting to use a popular song risks receiving a snub from the artist, who not only rejects the candidate but then takes shots at his political stands. Republicans in the past have nearly always kowtowed to the artists’ demands. It’s awkward all around, and it has made GOP candidates gun shy about trying to use pop music at all, let alone inventively—until Trump:”

Legally speaking, this is voluntary: As long as the campaign or the venue has bought a “blanket license,” which is standard practice, it can use any song from the music library of the organization granting the license. (Use of music for campaign commercials is more complicated and typically requires an artist’s permission.) It’s not the law that stops politicians from using certain songs; it’s the embarrassment factor, which has been significant….The difference is that Trump, whose own celebrity eclipses that of a lot of pop musicians, doesn’t seem to care. Rather than back away from using music, he just plows forward.”

Read the whole thing. Since, as Troy writes, GOP candidates have the legal right to use a song they’ve licensed at a campaign event, why don’t more of them push back and have some fun laughing at the rock star getting additional royalties and exposure as Trump is doing?

NEW YORK VALUES: Zillionaire control freak New Yorker boasting of shaking up 2016 primary system.

Not him — or her — the other guy.

GOOD NEWS: Female Muslim Professor Says Muslims Can Rape, Rob Infidel Women Only in Some Circumstances.

I’D BE HAPPY IF I COULD GET IT FROM A CELL TOWER IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD: Google’s planning to deliver super-fast 5G Internet from solar-powered drones. “Google’s been secretly trialling a drove of 5G Internet-compatible drones out in New Mexico that have the potential to transmit gigabits of data every second – that’s 40 times more data than the world’s fastest wireless services. Codenamed Skybender, the project aims to take advantage of high frequency millimetre waves – a specific region on the electromagnetic spectrum that can theoretically transmit data far more efficiently than the frequencies our phones and wireless Internet have well and truly clogged up.”

LORD, MAKE ME VOTE FOR HILLARY — BUT NOT YET: “Bernie Sanders’ Female Supporters Want To Break The Gender Barrier… Just Not Now”

“I’m a 65-year-old woman. A Democrat. I’ve always voted Democrat,” said Maryclaire Heffernan, a Sanders supporter from Candia, New Hampshire. “It’s a tough one. I voted for Obama twice. So I’ve already not voted for Hillary once … If Hillary is the nominee I would absolutely support her. However, I am concerned about where we are and think if we don’t think big, we have to stop thinking around the edges or holding the edges in place.”

“I do feel bad about it,” she added, a tinge of pain visible on her face. “And I have dear friends who would kill me for saying that out loud.”

At Sanders’ rallies here in New Hampshire, you meet plenty of women just like Heffernan.

There’s just no denying the hotness of Bernie’s appeal.

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MY USA TODAY COLUMN, OCCASIONED BY THE 1000th DAY OF THE IRS SCANDAL: Washington’s culture of corruption rots on: When bureaucrats are above the law, ordinary Americans may want to follow suit.

RACISM AND SEXISM AT GITHUB: “While their efforts are admirable it is very hard to even interview people who are ‘white’ which makes things challenging.”

Plus: “Some of the biggest barriers to progress are white women.” What is this, the Bernie Sanders campaign?

TOO AWESOME A HEADLINE TO CHECK: “66-Year-Old Man Struck By Lightning While Masturbating To Bible.”

(Via Debby Witt.)