UH OH: Dell admits that there’s a big security problem with its new laptops.

A METAPHOR FOR THE OBAMA PRESIDENCY: U.S. ran out of ammo in attack on ISIS trucks.

WHEN YOU GO FROM NONFEASANCE TO MALFEASANCE: Emails show DOD analysts told to ‘cut it out’ on ISIS warnings; IG probe expands.

CHARLES C.W. COOKE: Anyone Who Would Use Terror as an Excuse to Subvert the Second Amendment Should Be Tarred & Feathered.

Well, I have to say, our current political class is making the case for reviving this traditional remedy for overreach more persuasively than I ever could.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Grow or Die: The Good Guide to Survival Gardening.

NO. NEXT QUESTION? New RNC ad: Can these Democratic weaklings be trusted to keep America safe?

WELL, THIS IS THE 21st CENTURY, YOU KNOW: Domino’s has launched a physical button you push to order pizza.

I’m pretty sure that George Jetson, Homer Simpson, and Montgomery Scott would all approve this bold new leap in pizza ordering technology.

TELL THESE PRIVILEGED TWITS TO SHUT UP AND STUDY FOR FINALS: The university student anti-free-speech movement, this time at Duke. Since they seem like little Maoists, I think that perhaps they should be sent to work in the fields with peasants for four years, instead of attending a prestigious university. Though, to be fair, at this rate it won’t be all that prestigious for long. . . .

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And, up to $400 of Canon DSLR Bundles.

MY USA TODAY COLUMN: Obama’s Syrian Refugee Debacle: Characterizing Republicans as xenophobes won’t hide the fact that president’s foreign policy failures created refugee crisis.

I WANT A USA TODAY VS. WASHINGTON POST FACT-CHECKER CAGE MATCH! Oops! Carson’s not actually wrong about Jefferson.

I do wonder why the WaPo is willing to cut so many corners just to keep a black man down.

WHY DOES OBAMA HATE BEER LOVERS? Obamacare calorie rules brewing trouble for craft beer makers.

ARE YOU FEELING THE HOPE AND CHANGE YET? “The U.S. State Department has issued a worldwide travel advisory, citing a broad swath of Islamic extremist groups, warning people that terrorism can strike anywhere.”

I WOULD START WITH ‘EWWWW:’ Seven Things I Want to Say to That Guy Watching Porn at the Library.

THE TRUTH ABOUT STUDENT EVALUATIONS. Well, maybe. When it comes to mine, I find the number-ratings of limited use, but the actual student comments are often helpful.

YOU HAD ME AT ‘SHUT UP’: SNL CO-OPTS ADELE FOR A VERY LIBERAL THANKSGIVING: “It’s really a brilliant piece of comedy and leftist propaganda rolled into one. I should be grateful that any TV comedy show has opted for both rather than just the latter,” Scott Ott writes. “But ICYMI (which means In Case You Missed It, ICYMI), there are at least six liberal tropes packed into fewer than four minutes.”

CHANGE: 2015 Brings Bumper Crop of New Rx Meds. “The science has got better and we seem to be finding more molecules that are showing material improvements. The old idea that industry pipelines are thin is not really true anymore. . . . Regulators are also getting much slicker at approving breakthrough drugs and in some cases the decisions are even coming faster than the companies expected.”

LIFE IN THE 21ST CENTURY: I Sent A Sample Of My Poop To uBiome. “uBiome, a biotech startup, exists to help people explore their microbiomes — the population of tiny organisms that live inside you, outnumbering your own cells 10(ish) to 1(ish). I wanted to know how my own microbiome compared to other people like me: youngish people who run a lot who are generally healthy but sometimes eat large cheeseburgers. But like other genetic test providers, including 23andMe and Ancestry.com, the company has a second and less visible objective. Users participate out of curiosity, health concerns — or, in the case of the still-nascent science of the microbiome, sheer novelty. But their data is the ultimate prize, which those companies, with participant permission, can study, share, and sell.”

DISPATCHES FROM THE MEMORY HOLE: “College Students Say Remembering 9/11 Is Offensive to Muslims.”

From “We must never forget” to “toss it down the memory hole” in less than 15 years — a new Oceania record, beating the last one by decades!

AT AMAZON, trade in your old books, computers, and videogames.

GITMO FIGHT HEATS UP: 16 veteran GOP House members have signed onto a letter to members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, encouraging them to consult with lawyers before executing any presidential order to transfer Gitmo detainees to the U.S.

“The Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) contemplates that with respect to enlisted personnel and officers in the United States armed forces, when an order given by one’s superiors comes into conflict with the laws of this nation, the latter prevail. We believe that in our democracy — in which governance is undertaken, in the words of Founding Father John Adams, by ‘…a government of laws, and not of men…’ – that understanding necessarily applies equally to orders given by the Commander-in-Chief,” writes the group of 16 House members who are all military veterans.

Current U.S. law does not permit the expenditure of any funds to transfer Gitmo detainees to the U.S., or to construct or modify facilities to house the detainees.

UNEXPECTEDLY: Clock Kid Ahmed Mohamed Wants $15 Million in Damages.

Iowahawk suggests that the city of Irving, Texas “Pay him in 50% off Radio Shack coupons.”

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Stretching for 50+: A Customized Program for Increasing Flexibility, Avoiding Injury, and Enjoying an Active Lifestyle.

WHY ARE UNIVERSITIES SUCH HOTBEDS OF RAPE, RACISM, AND POLICE-STATE TACTICS? The whistleblowers: Employees claim retaliation in campus rape cases.

THE GRIEVANCE GENERATION: “Whiny college students are protesting when their feelings are hurt,” Stephen Moore writes. And as today’s “snowflake fascists” begin to enter the workforce, Moore asks, “Can you imagine the tyranny you would bring upon yourself by actually hiring one of these self-righteous complainers”?

Within a month they’d be slapping you with a lawsuit for not having a transgender bathroom. And you’ll be thinking: Right, but did you actually finish that assignment I gave you? Employers tell me despondently that the millennials are by far the highest maintenance generation they’ve ever seen. One recruiter recently told me: “They need their hands held, they demand affirmation, they are forever whining about their feelings. We really don’t have time to deal with their petty grievances.” Ironically, when I graduated from college in the early 1980s they called us the “me generation.”

Who’s to blame for all of this? Alas, we are. The parents who caved in to every instant gratification demand they ever had, arranged “play dates,” for them, showered them with daily positive affirmation, and gave them time-outs rather than spankings. Our schools are to blame for labeling them “gifted and talented,” and awarding them towering trophies for finishing in 6th place so as not to damage their self-esteem. The college professors who corrupt their minds with hate-America ideology and now are the administrators who cave into their every petty demand.

Which brings us to… Exclusive: Occidental Professors Voting to Give Students Power to Report Them for Microaggressions.

George Orwell, call your office.

You too, Franz Kafka.