ROGER SIMON: Seinfeld, the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times: Scenes from the Culture War.

Meanwhile, look who’s the Amazon Gold Box today. Somebody sending a subtle message?

VIRGINIA IS FOR PAY-TO-PLAY LOVERS: Hey, Republicans: Endorse Terry McAuliffe, get government job, get $140k.

TRAIN WRECK UPDATE: Obamacare enrollees hit snags at doctor’s offices: Many consumers faced hurdles signing up for Covered California health plans. Now they’re having trouble finding in-network doctors. And note this:

Aliso Viejo resident Danielle Nelson said Anthem Blue Cross promised half a dozen times that her oncologists would be covered under her new policy. She was diagnosed last year with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and discovered a suspicious lump near her jaw in early January.

But when she went to her oncologist’s office, she promptly encountered a bright orange sign saying that Covered California plans are not accepted.

“I’m a complete fan of the Affordable Care Act, but now I can’t sleep at night,” Nelson said. “I can’t imagine this is how President Obama wanted it to happen.”

If only the Tsar knew!

THE HILL: Eyeing a majority, Senate GOP cool to House immigration plan (warning: autoplay video at link):

Eyeing a new majority, Senate Republicans are seeking to trample the immigration reform blueprint crafted by their counterparts in the House.

They are careful not to criticize the substance of the House GOP’s new set of principles by simply saying the chances of crafting a new immigration law this year are remote. Should the thorny debate continue in the months ahead, it could hurt the chances of GOP senators facing primaries and jeopardize the party’s chances of winning the majority in November.

Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.) said Tuesday that he doesn’t see any way the Democratic-controlled Senate and GOP-led House will agree on immigration reform legislation in 2014.

Well, that’s smart, because it couldn’t possibly do the GOP any good.

Related: Roll Call: Is Boehner’s Gavel On The Line? “Speaker John A. Boehner should lose his gavel if he pursues immigration this year, a prominent tea party Republican said in an interview with CQ Roll Call on Tuesday.”

WHY INDEED? WSJ: Taking the IRS Fifth: If everything was kosher, why won’t Lois Lerner talk to Congress?

Liberals are celebrating President Obama’s claim that “not even a smidgen of corruption” occurred when the IRS targeted conservative groups for additional scrutiny in an election season. Less enthused must be Lois Lerner, the former director of tax-exempt organizations who invoked her Fifth Amendment right not to testify before a House committee last May.

Asked by Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly whether there was any corruption in the IRS handling of groups applying for tax-exempt status, Mr. Obama said “absolutely not,” adding that the policy that delayed hundreds of applications by conservative groups was a case of “some bone-headed decisions out of a local office.” By local he means Cincinnati.

he President’s clairvoyance is extraordinary, since neither the Justice Department nor Congress has finished investigations. The congressional probes have conducted interviews with dozens of employees from the IRS and Treasury Department and reviewed hundreds of thousands of pages of documents. They have already revealed that the tea-party cases, including intrusive questionnaires, were systematically reviewed by lawyers in the IRS Washington office.

But hey, if the President says it’s all kosher and the FBI doesn’t intend to pursue criminal charges in its probe of the selective IRS screening procedures, why should Ms. Lerner take the Fifth? Perhaps we’ll get to hear what Ms. Lerner meant when she wrote in February 2011 emails that the tea party matter was “very dangerous” and that “Cincy should probably NOT have these cases.”

Omerta, indeed.

TRADER JOE’S ISN’T COOL ANYMORE BECAUSE IT’S SUCCESSFUL: Community Organizers Chase Trader Joe’s Out of Portlandia. Trader Joe’s decided to Go Galt, which was a shock to the shakers-down. “Hours after Trader Joe’s pulled out, PAALF leaders arrived at a previously scheduled press conference trying to process what just happened. The group re-issued demands that the now-cancelled development include affordable housing, mandated jobs based on race, and a small-business slush fund. Instead, the only demand being met is two fallow acres and a lot of anger from the people who actually live nearby.”

EXPECT THE HIGH PRIESTS OF DIVERSITY TO DEMAND A RECANTATION: Jerry Seinfeld doesn’t care about racial and gender diversity: it’s “P.C. nonsense” and “anti-comedy.” That he’s right only compounds the offense, of course.

From the comments: “Fortunately, Seinfeld has the wealth and status not to give a damn.”

K-12 IMPLOSION UPDATE: YouTube Sex Abuse Claims Lead to Charges Against School Principal. “An educator in California was charged with 16 counts of sexual abuse on Monday, a month after a former student alleged in a YouTube video that she had abused her. The Riverside County District Attorney’s office said in a statement that Andrea Cardosa had been charged with five counts of aggravated sexual assault on a child and 11 counts of abuse, the Associated Press reports. Cardosa had been working as an assistant principal in the Alhambra Unified School District, but resigned after school officials informed police about the case.”

Remember, the reason that men are underrepresented in K-12 education is that people think they’re likely to be predators.

BLUE ON BLUE: This just in: New York Times reporters embarrassed by the paper’s editorial pages.

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Also, Deals of the Week in Movies & TV.

“WON’T SAY:” Hilda Solis won’t say if she advised Obama about FBI inquiry.

NEW WHITE HOUSE SPIN: YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WAGE SLAVES, DO YOU? AND WHAT MAKES WAGE SLAVES? WAGES! Byron York: Obamacare will reduce incomes of most Americans.

UPDATE: Thought I was joking about the White House spin? Think again! What was comedy in Groucho’s era is now progressive governance.

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH: Copyright, Invented To Combat Commercial Abuse, Has Become A Means Of Commercial Abuse. Patent law, too. Rob Merges and I were on this over a decade ago, but the courts didn’t pay attention.

RICHER WOMEN, hotter sex.

JONAH GOLDBERG ON POWER INEQUALITY: Forget income inequality. Most of our money and clout goes to Washington.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: 7 Ways You’re Ruining Your Wood Floor.

WEIGHING TESTOSTERONE’S benefits and risks.

AT AMAZON, deals on bestselling Glassware & Drinkware. Nice glasses do make a difference.

Also, coupons galore in Health & Personal Care.

MY USA TODAY COLUMN IS ON OBAMA ON ART HISTORY: College And The Trades.

UPDATE: Abby Schachter writes:

Great column today about how Obama is right to say that some people should go into skilled trades instead of defaulting to college. You are also right to urge the president to speak about the great potential in any field so long as people are willing to work for it.

One point that I thought you missed however, is that it was Obama himself who only a few short years ago was speaking about college (and federalizing college loans) as the necessary path for everyone to make it. His new enthusiasm for the trades is correct but he might acknowledge (I know this is asking too much) that he was one of those voices — along with guidance counselors — urging high school grads to go to college no matter what.

Well, that’s a fair point. In Obama’s defense, back then he hadn’t had the opportunity to read my book. In my defense, honey, vinegar, flies.

YOU KNOW, IT DOES: The SR-71 Factory Floor Looks Like The Rebel Base In Star Wars.

THE COUNTRY’S IN THE VERY BEST OF HANDS: Senate cybersecurity report finds agencies often fail to take basic preventive measures. “They aren’t even doing the simple stuff.”

SPYING: Parallel Construction Revealed: How The DEA Is Trained To Launder Classified Surveillance Info.

Last summer, Reuters revealed how the NSA and other surveillance organizations would share info with the DEA and other law enforcement agencies, but then tell them to reconstruct the evidence via a process called “parallel construction,” so that the surveillance would not then be discussed in court. This is highly questionable, and probably illegal, as a defendant has the right to know all of the evidence being used against him or her, and should also be told how that evidence was gathered, to make sure the collection was legal. But what’s being done with parallel construction, is that the intelligence community is able to give “hints” to law enforcement, allowing them to come up with various pretenses for an investigation, avoiding ever having to reveal that the NSA or others used potentially illegal surveillance efforts. One example given in that Reuters report was how DEA agents would suddenly be given a tip like this: “Be at a certain truck stop at a certain time and look for a certain vehicle.” The DEA would then have the local police come up with some pretense to stop the truck… and then when evidence is found they can claim it was a random traffic stop, when the reality is anything but that.

After the Reuters report, C.J. Ciaramella used Muckrock to request all DEA training material and official policies concerning “parallel construction” and recently received nearly 300 pages of documents, much of it redacted, but still which reveals that this is common practice at the DEA and widely known.

So if you’re on a jury, you should know that the DEA has spent a lot of time planning how to lie to you, and resolve any doubts with that in mind.

SURROUNDING THE TRUTH WITH A BODYGUARD OF LIES: “Honey Encryption” Will Bamboozle Attackers with Fake Secrets. “‘Decoys and deception are really underexploited tools in fundamental computer security,’ Juels says. Together with Thomas Ristenpart of the University of Wisconsin, he has developed a new encryption system with a devious streak. It gives encrypted data an additional layer of protection by serving up fake data in response to every incorrect guess of the password or encryption key. If the attacker does eventually guess correctly, the real data should be lost amongst the crowd of spoof data.”

FISH FEELS ABANDONED BY BICYCLE: “Where are our men? Why are they not protecting us?”

I dunno, but I have an idea. Though despite the complaints, there’s this: “In Thursday’s incident, a 24-year-old man and his girlfriend, 23, had just left his house on 26th Street near Lehigh Avenue at 11:53 p.m. when a thief grabbed the woman’s bag. When the boyfriend gave chase, a second man shot him in the chest.” No matter what you do, it’s never enough.

I KNOW A LOT OF MILITARY TYPES USE TAMPONS FOR THIS, BUT THIS IS LESS IMPROVISED: How A Simple New Invention Seals A Gunshot Wound In 15 Seconds.