21ST CENTURY RELATIONSHIPS: 4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Siri.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: How To Drive A Tank.

ALLEN WEST: Europe Attempts to Tax Bank Accounts in Cyprus. Is America Next? One more time, I suggest that the Republicans in Congress introduce legislation to ban this, and dare the Dems to oppose it.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Office Romances Frequently Lead To Marriage.

50 REASONS TO HAVE SEX, according to TV show characters.

A BAD REVIEW FOR DIANNE FEINSTEIN FROM HER HOMETOWN PAPER: Ted Cruz Gets A Scolding, Not An Answer. “Ironically, Feinstein told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that she felt the Texan was ‘arrogant.’ Look who’s talking. Arrogant is when a person feels so imperial that she doesn’t think that she should have to put up with questions from a colleague.”

THE WORLD’S STRONGEST COFFEE. “Double the strength of an espresso, Death Wish Coffee even comes with a disclaimer warning drinkers to expect ‘many sleepless nights’.”

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE: Schools Hire $100,000/Year Rankings Managers.

METAPHOR ALERT: Obama’s Limo Breaks Down; Filled With Wrong Fuel.

HIGHER EDUCATION UPDATE: Everybody Gets A Car!

SEVEN FOODS YOU THINK ARE HEALTHY, THAT AREN’T.

WELL, THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY AFTER ALL: Mico headphones scan brainwaves to match songs to your mood.

LIZ PEEK: Why Voters Trust The GOP With Their Tax Dollars, But Not With Social Policy Issues.

SPENGLER: The Russians Think We’re Wrecking The World On Purpose. “How, the paranoids ask, could two administrations in succession make so many blunders in succession? It stretches credibility. I wish it were a conspiracy. The truth is that we really are that dumb.”

WALTER RUSSELL MEAD ON THE CENSOR’S LATEST MASK: British Speech Nannies And The Respectable Tendency:

Britain has the makings of a great country, but its governing elite has a disturbing penchant for power grabs. This “Respectable Tendency” in British politics is the country’s curse and ruin. The well-bred establishment backed Stanley Baldwin and Neville Chamberlain in the 1930s and ignored Winston Churchill as long as it could. After World War Two this respectable class led moderates in Tory and Labor governments to launch Britain’s ruinous experiments with socialism and state control. Today, the Respectable Tendency is throttling freedom of the press.

Bent British newspaper hacks are indeed a curse. Nobody anywhere in the world thinks Britain’s tabloid press does a good job. But the slimiest, most gin-sodden Fleet Street hack who ever lived isn’t as dangerous to Britain as the bland, responsible, respectable people who decided to set up a government-backed press board.

Britain can thrive in the 21st century, but it will surely fail if the British people allow their brain dead but well groomed establishment free rein.

Britain was a better country when its Ruling Class had less power. But, then, most countries are.

ADVICE: Spouses Probably Shouldn’t Try to Split Household Tasks Exactly Evenly: Obsessing over a completely fair division of labor defeats the purpose of marriage. “The problem here is that a marriage is not a short-term loan. You are not in a transaction with your spouse; you’re in a relationship.”

AT AMAZON, deals and markdowns in the Easter Shop.

Plus, lightning deals in Easter Toys & Games.

And, today only: Up to 59% Off Criterion Collection Favorites on Blu-ray.

WILL OBAMA’S POSITION EVOLVE? Concerns over North Korea restart debate on East Coast missile shield.

ANGER: Feinstein On Reid Dropping Assault Weapons Ban: “A Major Betrayal Of Trust.”

MICHAEL WALSH: FIGHT ON.

Advice to the RNC: Don’t “re-brand.” Fight.

That’s it. Fight. Fight them on every front, fight them in every state, fight them on television and in print and on the airwaves. Confront them at every opportunity, seek out and embrace conflict, and fear not bullies like Chuck Schumer (the living embodiment of the Lefty Sneer), Dick Durbin, and passive-aggressive corruptocrats like Harry Reid. Don’t make nice with them, don’t play fair with them, don’t reach across the aisle and above all, treat them and their ideas with exactly the same amount of respect with which they treat yours: none. Contempt is the only language they understand.

Remember that, thanks to Hillary Clinton and the rest of the Alinsky Left, the personal is now political, so get personal; all’s fair in love and war, and politics isn’t love. As Pat Caddell just reminded the GOP, his team plays to win, and doesn’t really much care how it does it — “by any means necessary” is their motto. If you’re not using their own rules against them, you’re not playing the game.

Put them on defense for a change and see how they like it.

Read the whole thing.

POLITICO: Robert Menendez donor courted President Obama, Harry Reid.

Salomon Melgen had a knack for going straight to the top.

He posed for pictures with President Barack Obama, flew Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid on his private jet and sought advice on a port security deal from an ex-CIA agent who helped lead the hunt for Osama bin Laden, POLITICO has learned.

Melgen, a wealthy South Florida eye doctor and investor, has seen his flashy forays onto the political stage backfire in spectacular fashion in the past few months. Federal investigators are probing his business dealings. He’s at the center of the controversy over Sen. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) and prostitutes in the Dominican Republic.

And now, new details show that Melgen also courted other leading politicians, including two of the top Democrats in Washington.

Nice pic of him and Obama, standing intertwined.

UPDATE: Bill Allison emails:

One more mysterious piece of the Salomon Melgen puzzle–he also tried to strike it rich from investing in a defense contractor on the grounds that it had government connections:

In February 2009, Melgen claims he met Florencio Rendon, a former chief of staff to Rep. Solomon Ortiz, D-Texas. Rendon, whose boss was a member of the House Armed Services Committee before losing his seat in 2010, “touted his ability to put deals together and to win federal and state government contracts,” Melgen said in his lawsuit.

By the summer of 2009, Melgen claims he was on the receiving end of a hard charging sales pitch to invest $3 million in a company Rendon recommended, Securiforce International of America LLC. The company was seeking all or a portion of an Army contract worth $400 million called TWISS, or Theatre Wide Internal Security Services. In a June meeting, Rendon insisted that “through his government contacts” he “could obtain government contracts,” according to the complaint, which goes on to note that Melgen was led to believe that “this was a rare investment opportunity and worth millions.”

Rendon cited his relationship with Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the former commander of the coalition ground forces in Iraq from June 2003 to June 2004, and mentioned other government connections who could assist him in securing contracts. Melgen claimed he was told that Sanchez was an investor in Securiforce, “and that this would help secure the TWISS contract.”

With so many government connections pulling for Securiforce, Melgen apparently couldn’t say no. But a few weeks after he signed an August, 2009 agreement and invested $1.5 million, with a promise to invest $1.5 million more, the Army did say no to Securiforce. It awarded the TWISS contract to five other firms.

Though Menendez’s spinmeisters would like you — and the press — to focus on the underage-hooker angle, the real story is influence-peddling. And it’s probably pretty bad, if the underage-hooker angle is the preferred distraction. . . .

KURT SCHLICHTER: Time To Build A “Bite Me” Coalition.

It’s a sad commentary that the once boisterous, independent, take-no-guff New Yorker of the past has been replaced by a gutless, cowardly supplicant eager to obey the commands of whatever pint—sized potentate occupies Gracie Mansion. Back in the day, a real New Yorker would look that tiny troll in the mayor’s office in his beady little eyes and laugh, “Hey Mikey, I got your Big Gulp right here.”

These bossy snobs are getting out of hand, and it’s time to push back – hard. Besides being the American thing to do, resistance to this creeping liberal totalitarianism is a huge opportunity for conservatives.

Obedience to arbitrary authority is counter to everything that America stands for.

I agree. And I’ve got the perfect emblem.

WITH HELP FROM THE ALWAYS-HELPFUL F.I.R.E.: Oakland University student booted over ‘Hot for Teacher’ essay is now suing. “Corlett said he wrote the essay after Mitzelfeld assured him no topics were restricted in the free-writing assignment and she wanted ‘the raw stuff,’ according to the lawsuit.”

ROLL CALL: Can Rand Paul Bring the Tea Party Along on Immigration?

Sen. Rand Paul’s support for comprehensive immigration changes and a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants could go a long way toward helping get a bill into law, overhaul advocates and his fellow Republicans believe.

It’s “a signal to the tea party and libertarian right that immigration reform is OK,” said Frank Sharry, executive director of left-leaning immigration advocacy group America’s Voice.

The Kentucky tea party favorite announced his support in a speech Tuesday to the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, and he called on fellow Republicans to embrace immigration revisions. He also told reporters that he was receptive to allowing undocumented immigrants to eventually apply for citizenship, but he declined to use what has become a loaded phrase in conservative circles: a path to citizenship.

The Tea Party is mostly about fiscal conservatism, so I’m not sure that there is a Tea Party position on immigration, though the Tea Party movement tends to be skeptical of things that the elites think need to be done quietly, without informing the unwashed. If you want support for your bill, be very, very clear about what’s in it or you’ll lose trust.

Of course, Obama’s economic policies are turning us into the kind of country that people emigrate from, not immigrate to. Perhaps part of any immigration deal should involve tax-free status for U.S. expats . . . .