WHAT THE PRESS doesn’t want to know. It’s all about the narrative.

P.J. O’ROURKE: Still ‘Crazy’ — And Proud of It.

IF YOU STRIKE ME DOWN, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

TERRORISTS LEFT IN THEIR OWN FILTH: War crime.

Patients left in their own filth: Progressive healthcare!

There’s an obvious solution here: Talk, or we’ll turn you over to the NHS!

For the really tough customers, there’s something they call the appendectomy.

MARY JO KOPECHNE: A joyous martyr.

SO, HOW’S THAT STIMULUS WORKING FOR YOU? “The evidence suggests that continental Europe–which generally adopted smaller stimulus programs–is recovering faster that the U.S. or the U.K. They might have been wise to resist the assertions of Paul Krugman and the Obama administration that they should be doing more.” Meanwhile, a look at employment in the United States:

Nothing very comforting here, though. . . .

Plus, 1,000 Banks to Fail In Next Two Years: Bank CEO. Hope things don’t get that bad.

WHAT YOU CAN LEARN by exploding celery.

DEMOCRATIC REP. BETSY MARKEY: Yep, Medicare Will Take A Hit.

HISTORY’S NOT-SO-SUCCESSFUL CARS, at the amusingly named Concours d’LeMons.

TAXES ARE FOR THE LITTLE PEOPLE (CONT’D):

The Tax Man is a deadbeat.

Rep. Charles Rangel, chairman of the tax-writing Ways and Means Committee, has failed to pay taxes on two plots of land he has in New Jersey, records show.

Rangel’s ownership of the small, undeveloped properties came to light on Tuesday only after he drastically amended at least six years of financial-disclosure forms he had filed annually with the House clerk as required by law.

The corrected filings as much as doubled the amount of personal wealth Rangel has claimed going back years and revealed at least $780,000 in previously unreported assets.

He’s much too important to be bothered with such trivia.

HEATHER HAVRILESKY: What if you set Grey’s Anatomy in outer space?

FROM JAPAN, a new breakthrough in wheelchair technology.

NEW INSIGHTS INTO honeybee colony collapse disorder.

DEPRESSION’S EVOLUTIONARY ROOTS: An adaptation, not a malfunction?

LET’S GO GET DIRTY down on the farm.

OH, GOODY: USA: Over Two Thousand Dams Near Population Centers Need Repair.

JOHN STOSSEL on Cash For Clunkers.

PUTTING A CHEVY VOLT underwater.

CLASSIC GO KART COMIC BOOKS: You’ll never guess the artist.

SIX THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW about Snow Leopard.