INCREASING THE SIZE OF YOUR ARSENAL with Photoshop!

AT SLASHDOT: Ask Aubrey de Grey about aging and longevity research.

HMM: Judicial Watch files complaint over Obama’s mortgage.

DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS.

LOST IN translation.

PROBABLY NOT AS FATTENING AS THE KRISPY-KREME BACON CHEESEBURGER: The Italian Meat Bowl. Emphasis on the “probably” part . . . .

DISSING OBAMA AT FIREDOGLAKE: “His sweet talk is the same as every other empty suit’s to a pretty woman – he just wants her to say ‘yes’, just one time, in this case – just one time in November. . . . Sweet but empty.” Don’t miss the comments. The meanest compares Obama to Zima. Now that’s hitting below the belt. . . .

STARVING INDIANS NOT IMPRESSED WITH GLOBAL WARMING PLAN: “How do you say ‘screw you’ in Hindi?”

THOUGHTS ON Nancy Pelosi and the Internet.

UNDERFUNDED PENSION PLANS at SEIU? There seems to be a lot of that going around.

A NONDELEGATION DOCTRINE REVIVAL? Be still, my beating heart!

SPEAK NO ILL OF THE DEAD: Obama co-sponsors Jesse Helms memorial resolution.

That’s more generous than this guy: “L.F. Eason III gave up the only job he’d ever had rather than lower a flag to honor former U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms. . . . When a superior ordered the lab to follow the directive, Eason decided to retire rather than pay tribute to Helms.”

WHAT’S WORSE THAN MAUREEN DOWD? Fake Maureen Dowd! A bunch of people emailed me this column.

MEGAN MCARDLE: “After long thought, I am coming around to the notion that oil may be in a bubble. Why? Because everyone is acting as if the natural trajectory of prices is ever-upward. Sound familiar?” Like real estate prices, the trajectory may well be upward over the long term, but — as we’ve seen with real estate — that doesn’t mean upward all the time.

DREW CAREY: Welcome to Nanny State Nation!

VIDEO OF AUBREY DE GREY from the UCLA life-extension conference: “I am minded of the concert bootleg scene, except with scientists instead of musicians, and no bouncers chasing down the camcorders.” Probably no audience members lifting up their shirts, either.

JESSE JACKSON SLAMS OBAMA: This seems like good news for the Obama Campaign.

UH OH:

Newspapers routinely cover the financial troubles of airlines, car makers and sporting-goods stores. What they don’t often cover is the bankruptcies of newspapers. That’s because newspapers rarely go bankrupt.

That’s about to change. Across the United States, newspaper revenues are declining, along with circulation. As the American economy totters on the edge of recession, those declines are becoming precipitous and more pronounced than elsewhere. The Newspaper Association of America reports that classified newspaper advertising shrank by 16.5 per cent in 2007.

Read the whole thing. And here’s a possible explanation for the tanking . . . .

Plus this:

Virtually announcing to the world that the New York Times Company is in the process destroying shareholder value, investment bank Lehman Brothers is telling investors that its 12 month price target for a share of New York Times Company stock is $8 a share, down 46 percent from $15.06 at the time the report was published.

Ouch.

JAMES TARANTO: Will Obama pivot on oil drilling next? Hmm. How much does he want the influential InstaPundit endorsement?

DOUG BERMAN: Is Louisiana working on its Kennedy rehearing petition? Will Gov. Jindal stay true to his word?

POLICE, “PROFESSIONAL COURTESY,” and DWI.

CAR LUST: The Chevrolet Corvette CERV III. Too bad it was never built.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Buffoon, Or Great Leader?

DICK CHENEY AND CHEVY CHASE: Separated at Birth?

JIM LINDGREN: A second look at the effect of the D.C. gun ban. “The failure to control for race and the choice of time periods to study entirely drive the direction and the strength of the reported effects.”