GLOBAL WARMING: IT’S EVERYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BE — AND MORE: In 2008, we were told that the Internet, in the form of air conditioned server farms can cause global warming.

In 2011, we’re told that that global warming threatens the Internet: “Study into impact of hotter, stormier weather on UK infrastructure finds threat to wi-fi range and signal strength.”

Fortunately, Ace is taking this latest climatic crisis as super-serial as Al Gore would: “New Attempt To Scare You: Global Warming Will Destroy Your Access To Internet Porn:”

Do you realize what this means?

If we don’t destroy our economy immediately, we all could be plunged, temporarily, back into the Dark Ages of 1991-1993.

You might have to sign up for America Online again, people.

America. On. Line.

Get with the program, wingnuts. The porn you save could be your own.

Still, look at the upside: once we emerged from the New Dark Ages, we’d get to watch a whole new crowd of Old Media types asking, “What is Internet, anyway?”