OPEN THREAD: Ring out the weekend.

THE GLOBAL MEDIA/ACADEMIC/NGO COMPLEX BASICALLY APPROVES OF THIS STUFF.

BREAKING: A massacre has taken place in Nigeria against Christians by Islamists on Palm Sunday.

Bodies line the streets of their village.

Where is the outrage? https://t.co/XzEf5KiKME

— Eyal Yakoby (@EYakoby) March 29, 2026

GOOD LUCK, GUYS. ‘We are ready’: NASA still on track to launch Artemis 2 astronauts to the moon April 1.

MICROBIOME NEWS: Couples Share a Surprising Percentage of Gut Bacteria That May Impact Health.

GOOD; Simple Brain Training Cuts Dementia Risk Decades Later, Study Finds.

GOOD: Jay Leno Backs New Law to Exempt Classic Cars From Smog Checks.

CHANGE: Is a Tesla Minivan in the Works? Nah, Probably “Something Cooler,” Elon Musk Says.

I DON’T BELIEVE THIS IS THEOLOGICALLY SOUND:

John Sobieski could not be reached for comment. https://t.co/4aAFkqttcC

— The Patriarch Tree (@PatriarchTree) March 29, 2026

UPDATE:

Pope Leo Explains God Does Not Listen To People Who Wage War So Long As You Don’t Count Moses, David, Joshua, Elijah, Saul, Gideon, Samson, Or Anyone Else In Bible https://t.co/8Hu7kJv7hc pic.twitter.com/q2jBwHjSST

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 29, 2026

CIVIL RIGHTS UPDATE: Indefensible: NY Backs Down on Requiring Gun Permit Applicants to Give Social Media Accounts.

MICROBIOME NEWS: Gut ‘primes’ pathogenic T cells responsible for neuroinflammation in multiple sclerosis, study finds.

WHY DID THEY KEEP IT SO QUIET? NASA Astronaut Describes Mystery Illness That Forced Emergency Space Evacuation. “Astronaut Mike Fincke, who has been to space four times, told the Associated Press that he was struck with the illness while eating dinner. He briefly lost the ability to speak.”

THANKS FOR GUACAMOLE, GIANT SLOTHS: Meet The Giant Sloths That Gave Us Avocados — An Evolutionary Biologist Explains.

WOW: I did 100 face pulls daily for two weeks and finally fixed my rounded shoulders.

PRETTY SURE THE ANSWER IS YES: Are medical schools still admitting students based on race? Trump wants to know.

CLEMSON NEEDS A FACULTY AND STAFF THAT LOOKS LIKE SOUTH CAROLINA: Clemson employee political giving skewed left even as the surrounding county votes deep red.

I MEAN, HE’S NOT WRONG:

"Hitler was a failed art student and a vegan who blamed all his problems on rich people and the Jews.

"If he was around today, he'd be attending the Green Party conference'

Superb @LeoKearse 👏👏👏 pic.twitter.com/LzwAyh5QZb

— Jack (@FFS_WhatNow) March 29, 2026

KILLING COMMIES IS DEEPLY MORAL, LIKE PUNCHING NAZIS:

As a kid, when we were having a truly great day with my Vietnam vet dad. I mean a TRULY great day. Like when we drove the final nail in the porch we built together or the time I caught the biggest bluefish he’d ever seen.

He’d hand me the rest of his beer, walk to the car for… https://t.co/w1WKSVSl08

— John Ʌ Konrad V (@johnkonrad) March 28, 2026

Especially as it’s getting harder to tell the two apart.

#JOURNALISM:

That's an interesting take, because the Iranian AI slop clearly shows the entire city of Tel Aviv in flames. You know, from the indiscriminate missile campaign that failed in its mission to indiscriminately target the entire nation of Israel. Plus Qatar, UAE etc.

That plus… https://t.co/VJ7tUW9fzr

— Northern Barbarian (@xnoesbueno) March 29, 2026

JUSTICE SCALIA THOUGHT BULLYING COULD SERVE A PROTECTIVE FUNCTION AGAINST WEIRDOS:

Since the French Revolution, the great enemy of functional civilization has been Bioleninism, the amalgamation of life's losers into a wrecking ball driven by spite and envy

Carlyle said the infamous Philippe Egalité, duc d'Orléans, had every deadly sin written upon his face as… https://t.co/d5qY6BDtWE

— Will Tanner (@Will_Tanner_1) March 29, 2026

PROBABLY: Is Thorium the Future of Nuclear Energy?