WORKS ON CURLY HAIR: Dyson Airstrait™ Straightener. #CommissionEarned
May 28, 2026
THE FOUNDERS DID NOT JUST FIGHT A REVOLUTION. THEY ARGUED ONE INTO EXISTENCE. Thomas Paine’s Common Sense helped make independence imaginable, defensible, and finally unavoidable.
TRANSLATION: THE AWFUL THING WE PREDICTED NEVER HAPPENED BUT YOU’D BETTER KEEP PANICKING: Forecasters predict below-average hurricane season, advise against complacency.
Can’t we just declare victory in the War Against Extreme Hurricanism and go home?
TIME FOR PRIVATEERS! The High-Seas Black Market That Keeps Iran’s Illicit Oil Flowing.
Start issuing those letters of marque.
THE NEW SPACE RACE: FAA grounds SpaceX’s Starship V3 megarocket after Flight 12 ‘mishap.’
This sort of thing is routine but it’s also funny: Any “mishap” that the FAA notices, SpaceX notices, and would be working to fix it anyway.
OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY: California Gives Illegal Aliens ‘Free’ Fridges, Solar Panels.
LIMITED TIME DEAL: NORTHYARD Men’s Athletic Running Shorts Gym Workout Shorts. #CommissionEarned
Not sure how long I’ve been saying that UNRWA is a wholly owned subsidiary of Hamas, but it’s nice to see the authorities acting on it.
We live in a world of daily miracles: Walk up to an automated teller machine almost anywhere in the world, insert a card, type four digits, and a small mechanism dispenses cash that you are entitled to draw against an account managed by a bank you have never visited, operating under a legal framework you have never read, denominated in a currency issued by a central authority you have never met. We are so used to such comforts that we simply regard them as background infrastructure that exists without ever really thinking about it. Personally, I consider every trip to the supermarket as a veritable miracle. No matter the time or season, I get fresh fruit and vegetables, and all of it for a comparably small fraction of my salary.
Boris Yeltsin considered a Houston Texas supermarket a veritable miracle as well; when he visited one in 1989, he knew the Soviet Union had lost the Cold War: When Boris Yeltsin went grocery shopping in Clear Lake.
CHANGE (IT BACK):
Yale fully reinstates its pre-pandemic SAT/ACT requirement in admissions.
“These test scores are strong predictors of a student’s future Yale academic performance, and there is evidence that they are less subject to bias than other elements of an application.” pic.twitter.com/nQUCIHDai9
— Steve McGuire (@sfmcguire79) May 28, 2026
WAIT, SO IT’S POSSIBLE TO HAVE THE APPEARANCE OF A FUNCTIONAL CITY? CLEARLY THAT’S…
More fascism https://t.co/iy4dBdmI81
— Northern Barbarian (@xnoesbueno) May 28, 2026
ANSWERING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS: Why Are Women Taking Allergy Drugs to Treat Perimenopause?
MAKE WASHINGTON BEAUTIFUL AGAIN:
People outside of DC don’t realize what a transformation this is. Union Station used to be packed with drugged out zombies shambling around screaming at passersby, and barefoot, piss-soaked homeless people passed out on the floor. Columbus Circle right outside used to be a gross… https://t.co/THnYayRwVb pic.twitter.com/QtDKrsiKoF
— Payton Alexander (@AlexanderPayton) May 28, 2026
More:
Never in my 13 years living in DC have I seen this fountain on.
Honestly, I don’t think many Washingtonians thought it would ever come back, especially after last year’s protests.
It’s more beautiful than I expected. pic.twitter.com/V4wmQk23t3 pic.twitter.com/vE31yrRUD5
— Ken Farnaso (@KLF) May 28, 2026
Left and right: This is your capital; this is you capital on Democrats.
NEW DATA SHOW POLITICALLY ACTIVE FACULTY DONORS ARE ALMOST AS PROGRESSIVE AS BERNIE SANDERS AND ELIZABETH WARREN. There’s a serious problem of ideological clustering inside institutions whose job is to test assumptions, not protect them.
THAT RIGHT THERE IS FUNNY: Gun Control Org Claims Cornyn’s Defeat Means Texans are Cool With More Gun Control Laws.
That ought to go over as well as a COVID mask-wearing all-vegan campaign, if you can even such an absurdity actually happening in Texas.
BERICHTE AUS DER BILDUNGSAPOKALYPSE:
The Nazi book burnings were famously led by …
The Germany Student Union.
Many university students are moral morons. https://t.co/EIxA4WUtCt pic.twitter.com/EzbveNxOeq
— Ben Greenfield (@benzgreenfield) May 28, 2026
HMM:
🇬🇹 Guatemala has reportedly agreed to joint military strikes with the 🇺🇸 U.S. against drug trafficking groups inside its territory.
Washington is also reportedly pressuring Honduras as part of a broader regional anti-cartel strategy. pic.twitter.com/Xm0XZlbw9u— Defence24com (@Defence24eng) May 28, 2026
FASTER, PLEASE: The Imminent Democrat Party Civil War.
WEIRD, THIS KEEPS HAPPENING:
BREAKING: Sylvia Sims Bolton, a Democrat Councilwoman for Waukegan, IL, was just arrested for allegedly illegally casting a mail-in ballot in her dead mother's name.
The thing Democrats say never happens, happened again! pic.twitter.com/vBTeLktWHV
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) May 27, 2026
POTUS 47: Trump in Iran leaders’ ‘head’: Retired US general.
Retired Lt. Gen. Keith Kellogg said on Wednesday that President Trump was in the heads of Iranian theocratic rulers, arguing that the fractured state of Tehran’s inner circle was the Trump administration’s biggest obstacle to finalizing a peace deal.
“I think the president’s in their head. They know it. They’re on the losing side right now,” Kellogg, who served as Trump’s special envoy for Ukraine until January, told Fox News hosts Bill Hemmer and Dana Perino on “America’s Newsroom.”
Living the rent-free skull life is his speciality.
“CLEVER”:
We're now at the part where the press squee over a dude wearing a mumu-looking soccer jersey. https://t.co/coh9eWKUEW
— Bonchie (@bonchieredstate) May 28, 2026
WAPO implies that there’s a problem with Americans “scrutinizing his every move,” but the real problem is that New York voters didn’t.
Either that, or they did — and approved.
TRUMP, HOUSE GOPERS NEW APPROACH TO WASTE, FRAUD: The President and a couple of GOP House Committee Chairmen are implementing a new approach to fighting waste, fraud and abuse. We can only wonder how much better the federal government’s financial health would be had this approach been tried decades ago.
