WHO NEEDS HOMELAND SECURITY when you’ve got Frank’s tips for airline safety? Plus, he offers some advice for Al Qaeda:

And their attacks are against planes again; these are like one note terrorists. You gotta switch things up, dudes. You know, Speed was on a bus, and Speed 2 was on a boat; that’s how things work here in America.

More proof that we needn’t fear the terrorists, because we’re crazier than they are. Or at least, Frank is.