KEVIN DOWNEY JR: The Democrats Claim There Is No Lefty Pedo Cabal. Roll the Tape. “I’ve been informed by the few liberals utopian socialists who still deign to speak to me that there is no secret confederacy of left-wing pedophiles ravaging hordes of children and that this was just a conspiracy theory whipped by tobaccy-chawin’, trailer-dwellin’ whackjobs. So I thought I’d pour some bourbon over an ice cube the size of the Death Star, gather some clues, and see what we can learn.”